 The Clarinet BBoard
|
Author: Meri
Date: 2004-02-03 20:43
I feel that one of my students, who is 12 and in grade 7, has gone from an absolutely joy to a somewhat frustrating teaching experience. His mom and I are having a bit of a hard time with him recently, he asked me last lesson "why do I need to be the best player in school?" I told him to let me think about my answer to that question
I've come up with a few possible answers, one focussing on how much music he is capable of playing compared to his peers (where he lives, band starts in grade 7, he's had private lessons since Grade 5), how much he's accomplished via work ethic, that more music is accessible to you when you play with a high level of skill (one of his favourite pieces, BTW, is the Weber no. 2--I'm thinking about possibly teaching him the second movement (he has naturally fast fingers, strong sense of rhythm, and solid articulation skills).
His mom and I have also come up with the possibility of talking to his school music teacher, and getting peer support (that is, his friends taking private lessons with me). He is learning tenor sax in school, but is thinking of quitting it, and now wants to also learn guitar. Ideas on how to help him? His mom isn't considering changing teachers either, even though I feel it could help him.
Thanks,
Meri
|
|
Reply To Message
|
|
Author: Mark Charette
Date: 2004-02-03 21:00
Meri wrote:
> "why do I need to be the best player in school?"
Indeed, a very perceptive question, and one I've had to come to grips with a few years back in a similar situation.
One of my kids was getting around a 92 or 93 average in High School. I asked him why he didn't study a bit more and get it up to 96-97 (since I knew he could). His answer to me was essentially "What's the return on investment? I'll get a 3.85 instead of a 3.90 - and the universities I'm looking at just won't care all that much." And he was right. The amount of effort he'd have to produce wasn't worth the small incremental increase in grades. He'd rather be out with his friends playing basketball.
Perhaps your student is at a very comfortable level right now - and really doesn't want (or need) to put in the requisite amount of effort to go to the next level. As long as they're progressing and enjoying what they're doing, who really cares whether they're number 1 or 2 or 10 at this point in their life?
Exploring other instruments is also a wonderful idea I think. The student is still very young and the exploration will do wonders, no matter what (if any) instrument they end up really sticking with.
For every #1 there are plenty of people who aren't - and don't really worry about it.
|
|
Reply To Message
|
|
Author: Neil
Date: 2004-02-03 21:48
7th grade tends to be an especially troublesome time for boys in general. I suspect that his problems stem from the need to "be somebody" among his coevals. Playing clarinet really doesn't get yopu much status. If he were the best clarinet player in the school, or even the world, I doubt that many of his classmates would care, or respect him nearly as much as they would a third-rate rock guitarist. He needs to believe that his efforts will ultimately be beneficial to him. When I was in school, I developed the same attitude towards schoolwork in general; I saw no purpose in it other than to prepare me for more schoolwork. I wish now that someone then could have shown me a light at the end of the tunnel. I don't know exactly how to inspire your student but I urge you not to give up on him. Perhaps you could get him interested in jazz, either on clarinet or sax.
|
|
Reply To Message
|
|
Author: Mark Pinner
Date: 2004-02-04 03:28
The kid is only 12. They are, in my experience, nearly all like this at this age. For a kid of 12 to be 100% focused on any one particular activity is unnatural. They are discovering all sorts of different things and trying to find their place in the world both in general and amongst their peers. HIS interests, as opposed to the interests of his mother, may be heading in a different direction. The importance of being the best player in the school probably doesn't register in his mind, hence his question. I am wondering just who it is who wants him to be the best, his parents perhaps? Try some variety in repertoire, jazz and other contemporary music spring to mind. Weber et. al. are not exactly the hippest music writers to a 12 year old, it may re-spark some interest.
|
|
Reply To Message
|
|
Author: Matt Locker
Date: 2004-02-04 12:46
What I remember about that age was the feeling of not being challenged. At that age I could play, read, do whatever was required at the level I was being presented with. I was never challenged except by the things I did on my own. Without any direction though it's hard to know where to spend your energy. Music became really boring because I never saw the real stuff, just the stuff that's spoon-fed to 12 yo students. By the time I figured out I really enjoyed it............
Ask your student if he's bored? Ask him if he would like to find some music or exercises of his own. Maybe he's just tired of the same old stuff. Maybe there's a different band he could play with to give him new challenges. I personally think that could be really good. That goes along with the next point. I agree with the "peer-support" as long as he doesn't feel it's pushed on him. That'll be tough. There's nothing worse than having your social circles forced on you. A new group would give him new people to meet & socialize with. Does he ever get to hear live music? Could be worth expanding his horizons.
My answer to the best player in the school question:
Would you prefer to be the worst? {: )}
It's not a matter of being the best player in the school. That's dependent on who's in the school. It's being happy with the way you play. It does need to be enjoyable. Maybe he can tell you what would make it enjoyable? Have him think about it. I get real enjoyment feeling & hearing the I'm improvement over time. Does he have any interest in music as a career. Even if he's the best in his school there will probably be far better players when he goes to the next level.
I hope this helps. I'm just an amateur who loves music BTW.
Matt
|
|
Reply To Message
|
|
Author: clarinetwife
Date: 2004-02-04 13:20
Mark C and Matt L have some very interesting points. I had the experience of not being challenged in the school music program, and I have had students talk with me about the same issue. Sometimes one has to realize that what you can contribute can make the experience worth while, not what you get out of it. Usually a 12 year old is not ready to understand this. Older teens may be.
I probably err on the side of not being strict enough with my students, but if they are making some progress and practicing at least most of the time, sometimes you just have to weather the ups and downs of the early adolescent experience, help them explore their options, and give them time to work things out. It is an exciting age, but sometimes frustrating because what they think they want fluctuates.
I have a flutist friend who teaches 7th grade social studies. She found out that one of her students plays the viola. When she mentioned it the first time she just got "the look" However, a few days later, when he knew none of his friends was around, he quietly, almost conspiratorially came up to her and said "So, what's your favorite Brandenburg concerto?"
|
|
Reply To Message
|
|
Author: bnanno
Date: 2004-02-05 11:15
Well, I have an almost 12 year-old daughter, who has been playing the clarinet since your equivalent of Grade 3; always in a music school, and she would be the best at her level (since there are a lot of older people around, this best is always relative), as she usually is about a year ahead in terms of the pieces that she plays compared to her contemporaries.
However,
No one, her teacher, other teachers, parents, ever tell that she is "the best"... when she plays something well, we praise her without comparing her to anyone. Her teacher follows the same policy.
Second, she does have ups and downs, periods where she enjoys playing more than others, and when thigs go well or bad..thats just a part of the learning process and growing up, during her down periods we don't make fuss, make sure she does the minimum and praise that and I sympathise with her getting sometimes "fed-up" of the clarinet.
And we encourage her to other things that she may like, or just be with friends, and as well take her schoolwork seriously, in short, let her life be as normal as possible, even though music takes a good chunk out of her free-time.
Honestly, when I see all those people who did nothing but study music, it terrifiesme, as a parent I want my daughter to live a full and happy life and be a child, and the clarinet is important, but it is not the be-all and end-all of everything.
So there is really no need to be the " best", one can, and in the end, just think, it is a 12-year old after all: And why not try out the guitar as an add-on, if he wants to..classmates are going to be certainly more impressed with that!! My daughter fiddles around with my son's violin, plays strange things on an electronic keyboard etc. Music is fun, music is something to enjoy, so just do that.
|
|
Reply To Message
|
|
Author: John Morton
Date: 2004-02-05 15:39
I played clarinet for 5 years (w/ weekly private lessons), and persuaded my parents to let me quit at age 13 despite good success and an obvious affinity for music. I probably made life miserable for them until they relented. It took me 40 years to return as an enthusiastic adult player.
Why did I spurn a pursuit which was profoundly dear to my heart? At a conscious level the single most vivid memory of that time was abject fear of competition and the pressure of performance. My teacher wanted to prep me for competitions and auditions. I would resist, he'd leave me alone for awhile and then bring it up again. I was never asked if I wanted to perform, always cajoled or bribed into it. (If asked... I would have said no!) We adults can be detached or amused by stories like this, but to my 13 yr. old self life sometimes seemed like a string of catastrophes.
Starting at age 23 I have had a very full and rewarding musical life in a variety of styles and instruments. It has mostly been casual, entirely self-taught, in traditional genres and with no reference to written music. Trying to look at the big picture, I think I was never a good match for the formality of the classical tradition - unfortunately that was all my parents (and my school) knew.
My intro to music was a common one: 2 yrs. of piano lessons, then you get to choose another instrument. I wonder if my mother was thinking about that offer when I came to visit from my home in the woods at age 25. She had spotted a banjo case, and I pulled it out and frailed and sang "Cluck Old Hen". You could hear her jaw hit the floor. So one of the choices should have been "play old-time string band music for square dances, learning your tunes by ear from old geezers in the mountains".
So my 2 cents is: music may become the love of his life, but just maybe this child needs to go somewhere you've never been and know nothing about.
Thanks, you all, for your observations about your experiences a teachers.
John Morton
|
|
Reply To Message
|
|
Author: diz
Date: 2004-02-05 20:25
Just to clarify: in Australia (in general terms, ages vary) AND I'm talking New South Wales, other states are slightly different.
Year 1 = 6 years old
Year 7 = 12 years old (first year of high school in NSW)
Year 10 = 15 years old (last year of compulsory high school)
Year 12 = 17 years (last year of high school)
and before that - there is one year called infants
|
|
Reply To Message
|
|
Author: Rick Williams
Date: 2004-02-05 22:17
Sounds like a kid under pressure to me. Translated to; "why am I being pushed so hard?"
I don't know, but maybe the best response to the question is, "you don't, so what do you want to do?" Then listen to what he has to say and actually discuss it with him instead of trying to manuver him to whatever position y'all want.
Best
Rick
|
|
Reply To Message
|
|
Author: allencole
Date: 2004-02-06 05:47
Given your student's age, Meri, I don't really see a problem. Play some duets and have fun for a while. What are the boy's ambitions? If he's in high school and wants to be a professional clarinetist, then yes--try another teacher. If he's in middle school and is already highly competent, relax a little and enjoy the competence that he has already achieved.
Rather than constantly increase the level of difficulty, work at speeding his ability to learn music that's close to his comfort zone. Duets and sightreading might be a good project for a while. As his confidence grows, show him how his previous technical study is now paying off.
I would avoid a squeeze-play in tandem with his mother. Let the music be between you and him as much as possible. I've seen a number of kids from musical families go sour because accomplished parents or siblings can't sit still during a plateau--let alone a spell of slackness.
We all want to develop talent when we see it. But I think that requires a pretty fair amount of spare time and personal space. Also note your student's other curiosities. His desire to play sax and guitar could indicate strong questions of his own that he wants to seek the answers to. He may return to clarinet (as I did) with renewed vigor once those other curiosities are satisfied. I can remember spending hours on end working on things that a private teacher would never have showed me--yet it propelled me straight towards seeking private instruction.
Allen Cole
|
|
Reply To Message
|
|
Author: BobD
Date: 2004-02-06 14:10
No, I won't say it not even if the devil taunts me to......
|
|
Reply To Message
|
|
Author: elmo lewis
Date: 2004-02-07 18:21
Although every kid is different, I think that 12 is too young to be pushed too hard. (Unless he is very exceptional or likes to be challenged or likes to be pushed).
The goal should be to make music not to be the best in the school or best in the class or better than another student.
|
|
Reply To Message
|
|
Author: ginny
Date: 2004-02-07 23:11
I agree the child may be being pushed.
Its a difficult call however. My son's piano teacher's daughter probably going to be a world class violinist. She was given no choice, trained since birth. She was concertmistress of the national youth symphony and so on. She resents the choice made for her, deeply.
My son will not be a world class clarinetist, although he is first chair in his 2000 kid highschool at 15. I have asked him, should I have pushed. He thinks not.
Every parent and child has to decide on the level of push and pressure. I did not push at that age, although we always set the expectation that a good job should be done of all endeavors. It was never a matter of being the best at school or something, simply pride in a job well done and aquiring skills and knowledge.
|
|
Reply To Message
|
|
Author: bnanno
Date: 2004-02-09 10:01
Ginny,
you ahve summed up admirably what I wanted to say in a few short lines:
Meri, let us know how things go. All the best !
|
|
Reply To Message
|
|
The Clarinet Pages
|
 |
.jpg){kind=small}
.jpg){kind=small}
.jpg){kind=small}
.jpg){kind=small}
.jpg){kind=small}
.jpg){kind=small}
