 The Clarinet BBoard
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Author: Alseg
Date: 2004-01-21 16:48
I thought this now defunct ebay ad by was clever and funny....it has been withdrawn by the seller so hopefully Mark or Glenn will let this slide.
Copy of Ad follows: (item no longer available....disclaimer. I have NO ties in any way to the seller nor to the clarinet....and since I ~never ~ well hardly ever, squeak!
I only offer this as humor):
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"Squeakless Clarinet! Item number: 2374759031
Description (revised)
Save a starving musician and help a humbled strings player get a cello at the same time! Buy my squeakless clarinet. No squeaks, creaks, or shrieks when played by an actual clarinetist. Dying duck sounds only when played by a beginner.
. <snip by poster>
****Because some of you people out there are total cranks and are, shall we say, slower than you look, I have to add this caveat: YOU WILL GET SQUEAKS IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOING with this instrument. Just like there's no magic pill for prodigies, there's no magic instrument either. PRACTICE!"
end of ad. Fun, huh?
AS
Former creator of CUSTOM CLARINET TUNING BARRELS by DR. ALLAN SEGAL
-Where the Sound Matters Most(tm)-
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Author: sfalexi
Date: 2004-01-21 19:25
Nothing gets me in the buying mood like being called a total crank who is slower than I look. I think this person needs a quick course in marketing 101. I think the first point in that course is never to make fun of your potential consumers!
US Army Japan Band
Post Edited (2004-01-21 19:43)
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Author: CPW
Date: 2004-01-22 01:59
Aw c'mon...it's funny, and the final paragraph is just the usual disclaimer just in case someone really thought that there was such a thing as a squeakless clarinet.
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Author: jim lande
Date: 2004-01-22 03:23
Sometimes humor sells, but not always. A while back I sold my '71 Chevy Nova, a car that had served me faithfully for a decade, had a floor shifter and a huge trunk. It did have some cosmetic issues. I finished my ad with "Ugly." My goodness, did I get some really weird callers and no serious offers. Dropped the word in the next ad and sold the car.
Then again, a friend of mine ran a singles ad that started "Short, hairy. toadlike scientist ...and then listed some good points. No responses, not even weirdos.
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