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 my clarinet teacher hates me!!
Author: Chester 
Date:   2004-01-09 13:35

Well i cant say she hates me but she totally lost interest in teaching me, i think becuase she thought she was just such a good teacher she stopped trying, im very interested in the clarinet,

i joined this board thing becuase i like it so much, i changed my desktop!! the point is, i dont feel like im advancing anywhere, school band is boring now, unless i start another instrument, but i think these lessons use to have such an impact on me and now its doing nothing and now i get assigned an easy exsercise a week, well thank you!



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 Re: my clarinet teacher hates me!!
Author: msloss 
Date:   2004-01-09 14:59

Not sure what your point is. If you had a falling out with your teacher, go find another one. Before you go, though, at least have the courtesy to discuss the matter with your current teacher and try to understand what went wrong.

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 Re: my clarinet teacher hates me!!
Author: William 
Date:   2004-01-09 15:10

"she totally lost interest in teaching me,"

Hmmm......maybe there is a reason. If band is boring and you don't feel as if you are advancing, try be a role model for the other (less talented??) members of your band and be a leader (instead of one who wants only to be lead). I would also advise joining a more advanced (worthy??) band possibly of adults, that can lead you in the direction that you think you need for self improvement and musical enrichment. But being lead in the "right" direction is only effective if you are able (willing??) to accept the lead and hopefully, grow musically. Teachers and other mentors can only lead a "horse" to the water--but they cannot make that "horse" drink if it is unwilling. (Hint--you are the "horse")

Teachers seldom fail, but students often are failures. But if you feel that this is not the case, then perhaps you should find a teacher that can (somehow) teach you what you (think) you need to know and (want) to learn. But in the end, you are the one who must do the work, by taking constructive advice and implimenting it in your daily (hours of) clarinet practice. I might also add, that most of us on this BB who are "good", got that way, not "beacuse of" but rather "inspite of" our teachers. Teachers teach, but ultimately, students have to be willing to learn--and most often, the effectiveness of the "learning" is up to the students, not the failure of the teacher. Personal attitude can be everything, or nothing--it's up to you.

In the end, you just "gotta wantta" and find a way to do it in spite of "whatever". Your future is up to you (and how well you can work with those around you)--good luck!

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 Re: my clarinet teacher hates me!!
Author: wyatt 
Date:   2004-01-09 15:17

no one is stopping you from doing things on your own.
if you think the weekly work is too easy go and find harder pieces that you can work out on your own.
the only person holding you back is you. make up your mind what you want and go for it.
good luck

bob gardner}ÜJ

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 Re: my clarinet teacher hates me!!
Author: Alyra 
Date:   2004-01-09 15:24

It's up to you to pave your own way.

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 Re: my clarinet teacher hates me!!
Author: Ed 
Date:   2004-01-09 17:13

It is important to talk to your teacher and clear the air. See if you both have the same perceptions. Does she feel you are prepared, why you feel you are not being challenged, what can you do better, expectations from both sides, etc. Good Luck.

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 Re: my clarinet teacher hates me!!
Author: Melissa 
Date:   2004-01-09 22:18

I had the exact same problem as you. What I did was talked to my teacher about my issues and where I wanted to go with music. We both agreed that I need to find another, more advanced teacher. So now I'm on the search with a couple people in mind.

Now about band being boring. I also know exactly how you feel. What I do is teach my own lessons! It's actually quite fun. I work with the grade 9's helping them with getting over the break and I have been working with other students in my class with their solos for exams. I know a few people who, in the past, had people pay them for lessons but I don't, but maybe you would want to? I don't know I just find it very rewarding to help people out.

I also join as many things as possible (if you can get good connections it really helps you with getting gigs). For example I play in my community concert band, my district honour band, and I do musicals and other small ensemble things (church’s, old folks home, etc.). Try and do anything you can get your hands on, just don't overwhelm yourself.

Melissa



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 Re: my clarinet teacher hates me!!
Author: allencole 
Date:   2004-01-09 22:50

I cannot imagine a teacher getting tired of teaching a productive student. However, I see many 'selective' students, who have decided just what they do and don't want to learn. (This generally defines an unproductive student)

If your teacher is blase about teaching you, ask yourself whether you've rejected any of the things that she's tried to teach you. At your (apparently) young age, you may be blowing off something that sabotages your study as a whole.

If this is your case, the teacher may hang back for a while and see if you'll get past it.

It will be very difficult for any of us to intelligently discuss your situation without knowing your age, the amount of time you've been playing, and what your specific complaints are.

If your primary complaint is that you're not being pushed, asked her why--and listen carefully to her answer. And be sure to report back here what you find out.

Allen Cole

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 Re: my clarinet teacher hates me!!
Author: Dawne 
Date:   2004-01-10 07:11

I am wondering how you are doing in your other classes. If you are having trouble maintaining attention or focussing your thoughts, talk to your parents or your counsellor at school about it.

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 Re: my clarinet teacher hates me!!
Author: Synonymous Botch 
Date:   2004-01-10 10:50

No reason you should get less than full value for your money.

No reason you can't find another teacher, without hurt feelings.

*****

It's pretty common for younger players to expect a more personal relationship with instructors, than is forthcoming.

If you seek a more involved instructor, you may need one with FEW students... interview other players, under instruction, and find the consensus... do a little homework, before making a change.


*****

I wouldn't continue to visit a mechanic, physician or any other service provider if I were forced to make things right in spite of the services provided!



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 Re: my clarinet teacher hates me!!
Author: allencole 
Date:   2004-01-10 13:16

Botch, you are way off base.

Chester is obviously a very young student, and I think we can safely assume that it's not his money, but his parents' that you want him to demand satisfaction for.

The issue of "YOUR MONEY" does have an interesting bearing, though. In this respect, my 40 or so students can be divided into three distict categories:
1 - Those who pay full tuition, by the semester and who have to drive to a music store for their lessons.
2 - Those who receive in-school instruction, during convenient after-school hours, and at discounted prices negotiated by their band director.
3 - Those who receive in-school instruction, during afterschool hours, financed by the school's band boosters.

Category 1 students are my best performers by far. Many have been with me for years, and have strong positions in district-level groups.

Category 2 students are a bit weaker, and have poorer attendence despite their after-school hours. They also tend to want to turn instruction on and off in favor of other activities. Category 1 students who attend the same school generally outperform them.

Category 3 students are profoundly spoiled, and their parents are far more prone to customer-is-always-right attitudes, despite the fact that in many cases they pay for NOTHING as an individual. Most of these students don't know their major scales--even in a single octave--and none have district-level accomplishments. They will carp about paying $20 for books while getting free lessons on school provided instruments. Are they really all that bad? Well, half of them have already been dropped.

Maybe it would help if I had fewer students--but wait...the ones who get the most attention are doing the worst. And the ones who are paying--and driving--the most are getting the best results. So much for issues of 'your money' and divided attention.

About mechanics, doctors and other service providers. We visit doctors and mechanics because they have skills and expertise that we ourselves do not possess. And we are expected to defer to that expertise. If we ignore the advice of a doctor or mechanic, and then complain about the results, their services are going to cease at some point to come with a smile. (Sound familiar, Chester?)

Would it help to go to a mechanic or doctor with fewer customers for more attention? I don't know. But if that mechanic or doctor has fewer customer due to incompetence, I'm sure that you'll get the kind of brown-nosing that you demand. Next time you have an electrician come in, order him to put a penny in your fusebox and remind him that you're paying him to do what YOU want. Let us know the results.

But I do have one question, Botch. What is your definition of a 'personal relationship' over and above what normally occurs between a private teacher and student? How personal a relationship would you consider appropriate?

Bottom line for Chester: As I said before, I cannot imagine a teacher feeling lukewarm towards a productive student, or giving out excessively easy assignments. One thing that would explain both these factors is inadequate preparation of assignments by you. Poor work will certainly frustrate your teacher, and the easy assignments may be a desperate attempt on her part to have you learn something that you have insisted on bypassing. At your age, you're learning basics. This is no time to pick and choose.

You have been well-advised by others to ask her what's up, and I recommend that you do so along with your parents.

Allen Cole

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 Re: my clarinet teacher hates me!!
Author: paulwl 
Date:   2004-01-15 17:27

(William) >>Teachers seldom fail, but students often are failures. <<

I don't think this is a very helpful thing to say to a student.

Besides, failing doesn't make you a failure.

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 Re: my clarinet teacher hates me!!
Author: lyn 
Date:   2004-01-15 18:01

You definitely need to talk to this teacher first, before you just up and switch. Maybe your teacher is expecting something of you that you're not delivering - or maybe you're expecting something of your teacher that either he/she doesn't know about, or that they can't deliver. It could be one of many things. Maybe you can fix it, maybe not. But you have invested a lot of time in with the teacher, and they with you, for you to just toss that person aside without consideration for their feelings, too. I had to switch teachers during my study, too. There was never a problem because I was honest with them.

I've only ever had one student of mine leave for another teacher in 25 years, usually I couldn't push them on if I wanted to (sometimes I want them to take some lessons with my husband, or someone else, for a fresh approach). This person treated me with as much disrespect as a young person (and her parents) could. She did it without ever talking to me, much less telling me herself. After my husband and this student came back from spending hours trying out R-13s one day, her father came to pick her up, walked into our home, told me she was quitting and taking lessons with someone else. Talk about being Used.

I went over and above for this student, as I do for most of my students (the ones who work, anyway LOL). Even in 8th grade she showed a lot of promise - she is now a clarinet major somewhere, maybe she is reading this. She did not have the decency to even tell me there was a problem. The good thing about karma is that I know that one day someone will do this to her, too, LOL. Paybacks are a beeyatch.

I heard a few years later she had the nerve to say to another student of mine that I didn't "make her feel guilty enough." I don't know about you other teachers, but I don't set out to make 8th graders feel guilty.....LOL Maybe I should. Considering she was my only one to ever move on, I figure the rest of them are satisifed. (That student did tell her she was nuts, BTW. They are loyal.)

You owe your teacher this conversation - not the people on this board. Go forth and chat!!!

~L



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 Re: my clarinet teacher hates me!!
Author: Synonymous Botch 
Date:   2004-01-15 21:21

If my prior postings are searched, you will see that I think kids value the things that they pay for - with their own money.

By 'personal relationship' I mean that many early teens seek guidance (and kindness) from teachers that may not be forthcoming... not every adult willing takes a student under their wing and provide additional attention.

If the teacher is indifferent, the student will often feel frosted.

My teacher has few private students, all charged a high hourly rate.
As an adult novice, she has confided in me her outright dislike for teaching some of the kids (who won't attend her instruction) that express hostility during lessons.

She's not interested in more rescue work; it adds negativity to her years.
On the flip side, she retains some students that are genuine, sweet kids, with no discernible talent.

(For once, I'm trying to be sensitive to their plight... when you're this young, everything is personal.)
******
I can speak to Chester's experience, having noted clearly when an instructor was not attentive... using the name of another student after I had been paying tuition for 2 years - a firing offense.

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 Re: my clarinet teacher hates me!!
Author: D Dow 
Date:   2004-01-16 02:03

In all seriousness, I think personal problems are best handled personally.

David Dow

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