 The Clarinet BBoard
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Author: James
Date: 2003-02-06 03:08
Isn't playing public supposed to get easier as you get older to the point where you just do it? Well I am telling you now. It is exact opposite for me. I have been getting miserably nervous lately at concerts. The last two i even squeaked (High embarrassing). I mean it's not like I am a horrible player but I don't understand how i could have gone from being at home on the stage to feeling like the stage is on fire. Any else understand what i mean?
- James
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Author: Stephanie
Date: 2003-02-06 03:32
Hey, I totally understand where you're coming from.
My problem is the pressure. The whole playing in public issue for me is .....what's at stake. I tend to get really wired and nervous if it's something that i'm not sure of the reaction, or if it's something where a lot of things depend on how well i play that one particular performance.
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Author: ron b
Date: 2003-02-06 04:10
I do understand what you mean, James. In one form or another it has happened or still happens to all of us to some degree - every last one of us - whether we'll readily admit it or not. It would be helpful though, to know a little more about your particular situation. One remedy Does Not fit Everyone.
I'd like to ask you some personal questions and emphasize that you needn't answer them here. In fact... don't answer them here. Ask them of yourself and/or confide in a friend. Is there someone you can talk to one to one, heart to heart about this? A fellow musician, teacher, former teacher, clergyperson, close friend, anyone? Sometimes just talking it out will be an enormous help. But it should, in my opinion, be a real person - not someone on your monitor screen.
First thing that comes to (my) mind is, how is your health? Are you feeling well most of the time and look forward to playing?
Then I wonder whether you're talking about playing solo concerts, where you are accompanied by a pianist, ensemble or a larger outfit? Are you describing playing in a band or an orchestra - as, you are one player in a section? Or, are you first chair so that you must play the solo parts that come up?
What is the audience like; young, old, kids, mixed? Is there something about the audience; someone who isn't there and you wish they were? Something/someone about it you'd like to change?
I throw these ideas out as a start. It could be any one, all, or none of these things - maybe something unresolved in the past that's coming back to haunt you. I don't know, of course. But I do know that, whatever it is, you need to get a handle on it and deal with it - and the sooner the better.
Maybe some of these suggestions will help get your thoughts going in the right direction, maybe they won't. Maybe they're totally wrong for you... and that's okay. The point I'm trying to make is that you need to examine what's happening and get a handle on it - soon.
Making music should be fun for you, James, and at this particular time it sounds like it isn't at all fun and you need to find out why it isn't and take steps to correct that.
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Author: diz
Date: 2003-02-06 04:34
You know what really cured me of my nerves - going on stage in a musical - then you really put yourself up for criticism.
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Author: Signe
Date: 2003-02-06 05:28
Hi James. I just had my students do a recital, where I play with those who do duets. Out of nowhere, I got nervous playing with a first year student, so much so that I had to stop. It was completely embarassing. I'm always the one telling the others how to handle themselves for performances. But these things happen. I forgot to breathe, and prepare myself mentally for what I was doing. You just don't want to get yourself into a negative cycle (or circle) of events. You know what I mean, where one problem leads to another. You're nervous, so you sweat, your heart goes faster, your hands get cold because all the blood went to your heart (flight or fight), so you sound like a beginner, and that makes you more nervous, and so on...You have to turn the circle around. There are many "in-roads" available for doing that. The most obvious is to practice till you know it cold. The most important, though, is to breathe. Do a relaxing breath, which is in deep through the nose, and out through the mouth. Use the "sss"
sound to exhale, or the "fff". Something that makes you exhale slowly. Three of those will do wonders. Make tone a priority. Something beautiful you can respond to. People don't care about your dexterity on an instrument. They care way more about a good sound. Also, remember that you are projecting an attitude first and foremost. Get into the music emotionally. It will suck you in. Also, are you performing regularly? If not, do. I notice that if I haven't performed in a while, I get nervous. But with frequent performing, it gets easier. Have fun. Don't let others' attitudes get in the way of your enjoyment. You can screw up and not ruin the music. People do it all the time. Most of the time nobody notices, and if they do, they're always forgiving.
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Author: Rick
Date: 2003-02-06 06:19
I don't know if this will work for you, but here is a tip from athletics on something called flow state a subject which has had a lot of research dome on it. The idea is to mentally prepare as well as physically prepare so it does require that you have the ability to do whatever task to a reasonable degree of excellence in the first place. A lot of athletes call it being in the zone, other make reference to a zen state. Here's in part how it works.
The evening before a performance, turn off the lights, sit down and in your mind work through everything you are going to do the day of the performance from getting up in the morning on. The idea is to have already done what you are intending to do and to near perfection in your head before you do it. In your head, hear every note, every phrase. Imagine the applause...actually live the experience in your mind. Then when you actually do it, you can with practice achieve a state where you perform without actually thinking about what you are doing, it just happens. Fear and nervousness disappear.
I know this may sound a little metaphysical but it really works and in Japan people were doing this long before western science had a name for it. The most amazing example I've seen are Japanese mounted archers who ride horses at full tilt and shoot arrows into 5 inch disks about 30 yards away. Pretty amazing in itself, but I've seen master archers do it blindfolded!
Another way of approaching performance anxiety is to look at the root cause which is essentially a fear of unknown outcome. If you know when you perform that it's going to be ok, then there is no reason to worry. If you go in thinking about what can go wrong, you are pretty well setting yourself up for problems. This level of confidence comes from expertise at what you are doing. If you have less than that degree of expertise then you simply must convince youself that your human, learn from your mistakes and move forward rather than dwell on what happened in the past or can happen in the future.
As far as the onset of stage fright after previous years of being ok, a shrink would probably say something like this is an outgrowth of an unresolved issue that you have masked previously. Which is a fancy way of saying you may have always been nervous, but it has built up to where you cannot control it any longer and it is now causing performance issues. I think the question then becomes "what do you expect from yourself and is that expectation realisitc?" When you blew the squeaker, what where you thinking that others were thinking that made you feel bad? If I was at a performance and saw someone having problems, I'd think, "gee poor guy." I imagine that's the reaction of most people. When you see an ice skater fall in competition, do you think, "what a putz?" No, you and 99% of the population is sympathitic and starts rooting for them.
I think if most of us realized that the audiance is on our side, then we'd probably stop worrying so much...g
Best
RW
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Author: clarinetgiggirl
Date: 2003-02-06 10:06
I am very much a beginner making only rare low-key public appearances. However, one good piece of advise my teacher gave me was to remember that you can play the clarinet and not many (if any) people in the audience can play at all. You are doing something that most people could not.
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Author: steve
Date: 2003-02-06 10:50
Suggest you read:
"The Inner Game of Music"
Barry Green, W. Timothy Gallwey
-sdr
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Author: HAT
Date: 2003-02-06 15:30
No, nothing gets easier with age alone.
Nerves and other mental aspects of performance, as I have said before, are the main reason folks don't 'make it' in music (and sports too probably).
Understand that some people just don't get over it.
If you are one of those people whose performance suffers under certain conditions, the only 'solution' is to be so prepared that 'playing poorly' still results in a sucessful performance.
It is for the reason above that those who win auditions are often those who practice 6 hours a day for the 6 months before an audition. That way, even if they play 'bad' they might still get out of the first round. Once out, anyone can win.r
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Author: Bazzer the Jazzer
Date: 2003-02-06 17:41
I agree with reading 'The Inner Game Of Music'. I am clarinetgiggirls tutor(advisor). I had a problem with nerves some years ago, it was not the pub gigs where I would just go for it, it was the concerts at Jazz Festivals etc, where the audience would be sitting and just listening to every note I played, I would take the option to 'Play Safe' just producing streams of clichés and not taking any risks, I would have a miserable time, as any jazz musician will tell you risks are a large and enjoyable part of jazz. I was at a jazz festival talking to a much more experienced player then me and I mentioned that I was shaking about going on stage that evening, he offered me some simple advice, he just said, "remember you are doing something that probably nobody in the audience has the foggiest idea how to do, they have come to listen to somebody that is doing something they wish they could do", that worked for me that night and has ever since. I have a friend who looks for the most beautiful woman in the audience and imagins he is just playing for her(shades of 'The Inner Game Of Music Steve)
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Author: Ken
Date: 2003-02-08 02:05
Bazzer the Jazzer wrote: "I have a friend who looks for the most beautiful woman in the audience and imagines he is just playing for her (shades of 'The Inner Game Of Music Steve)"
--I tried that but for some reason had to keep crossing my legs. HAT is spot-on; one method is excessive practicing so you know the program two days after you're dead. Pitfalls of course are becoming so sick of the music an otherwise fresh/inspiring performance comes out sounding like a bad talent night in Mayberry. I've often slipped into the "freak out zone"; a sudden urge and irrational realization of my surroundings. The hump I always had to get over wasn't audience count but "who" was in it (if I knew) and being irrationally intimidated. I finally came to my senses on a gig years ago at the Hollywood Bowl (1987). Our combo opened for the Bob Curnow Big Band; after the set I was very happy with the evening’s performance and how I played. The sponsor approached me backstage and mentioned Basie was in the audience. I immediately blew a gasket and got all critical of my playing; a great night suddenly fizzled into a crappy night. At that point, I realized enough was enough and resolved never to torture myself again no matter who was in the crowd.
Even the best and most experienced performers have problems with nervousness. Success in the nerve game is won and lost by how it’s self-managed. Some ways to combat stage jitters:
1) Preparation. Be thorough in historical research and study. Explore the genius and background of the composer. Apply the five "Ws" when reviewing works, purpose, period, purpose, inspiration, lifestyle and demographics, etc. This type of knowledge is useful in practical application. Time practicing "off the horn" is just as valid as playing through the music a gazillion times.
2) Be relaxed, well rested and mentally alert; if you play your best when 100% in control avoid personal “vices” such as artificial stimulants aka nicotine, caffeine, sugar, alcohol, spicy foods, etc.
3) Complement and build your confidence up. Say with conviction, "I've worked incredibly hard preparing not only for today’s performance but in the months/years of sacrifice and dedication to this instrument, I'm not going to let the horn, myself or audience down. I “earned the right” to play my very best today and will focus my energies on the “reward” and not the “consequence” of failure. v/r Ken
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Author: Peter
Date: 2003-02-08 18:45
After re-reading this, it doesn't sound too extremely encouraging to me, but, I've had a burnout or two in my lifetime, lived other burnouts with friends, and it sort of sounds very familiar to me. Sort of like the road to hell in a hand-basket.
Are you losing confidence in your ability to do a right job of it?
If you've been doing this for years with any measured degree of success, why not now? What has changed?
Is it the playing or the appearing in front of people that has you down like that?
Is it the thought of going to where you have to go and face any particular individual, or group thereof?
Is it performing any particular task that you must perform every time you appear in public to play music?
At what point in the process of getting there does this hit you? Keep in mind that the "process of getting there" can be a days-long affair.
On your way there, do you just want to not get there? Wish you could just keep going somewhere else? Does it get more difficult to leave your bedroom (or other place of personal comfort) every time?
Does it take you longer every time to mentally prepare for going out to play? Did you go from minutes, to hours, to days during which you must psychologically "talk" yourself into doing what you have to do?
Do you find and/or remember all the little things you neglected to do (that have nothing to do with the task at hand) whenever you have to go out to play and start doing them until you are borderline late to your engagement?
Have you recently changed music or equipment and don't feel as comfortable with the new as you did with the old? Has your practice time diminished or disappeared altogether?
The last time I got like that, I came to realize that I hated my job, it depressed me to think of going to it, that I had been fooling myself for eons about it and that I dreaded the thought of having to go there at all, never mind going there to "perform" in any capacity!
Think about it, maybe you're burning out on it and need, at least, a temporary break from it.
On the other hand, I've known people who have just lost confidence in their ability to do what they need to do properly, and this is most especially so of people who have to do what they do in front of "witnesses" to their mistakes. In situations where mistakes are irretreavable.
The most recommended way to get over this in music has been to get into the practice room and practice until you know every note of everything you play like you know how to tie your shoelaces, sight unseen and with your eyes closed. Until your embouchhure, breathing and fingerings are perfect. Until the instrument practically knows what to do on its own.
But this only works if it's a matter of confidence, not other issues.
I've also known people who were just never cut out for it (whatever)and didn’t realize it until they were burning out on it.
If it is loss of confidence, this might work for you. If it's that you have come to hate your musical job, or the fact that in it you have to strive for perfection every single time you get out there, are sick and tired of it and the stress is getting to you, then you might just need to take a break from it, during which you need to determine if you want to continue doing it, or not.
I had a close friend who worked in, and eventually inherited his father’s part in an advertising related business, which operated exclusively to handle a single $100,000,000.00 (yes, one hundred million dollar!) account, of which the business kept an average of $25,000,000.00 in net annual profits. The pressure of having to perform/produce to the quality level required burned him out.
He started drinking and “drugging” to relieve the stress. The last time I saw him before he disappeared, he was mowing lawns for a living, and relatively happy with it, so long as he could afford his wine.
I can tell you a few other, similar stories.
Whenever I have to do something that makes me nervous, I just say, "To hell with it, what's the worst that can happen?" And the worst that can happen is most often not as bad as what might happen if I don't do it, whatever it is. Then I arm myself with resolve and go out and do it right, but you can only do that up to a point, when it really starts getting bad, you have to determine what it is that does it to you and resolve the issue, one way or another, before it takes you down with it.
As I have found out, when you do something you love to do for a living, it often turns into work, and when it does that, it has a habit of turning on you, often with detrimental results. That's why there should always be a healthy difference between work and hobbies. It works out for some, but not for others.
Take a pill and chill, Will!
"Exert yourself like a man, and you will succeed in your endeavor." I don't remember where that came from right at this moment, but it's been with me for more than 40 years and it's never failed me.
Good luck!
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