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 Why so many 40-something starters?
Author: SunnyDaze 
Date:   2023-06-25 03:35

Hi,

Has anybody else noticed that we seem to get a lot of people on the forum who are starting or re-starting clarinet playing in their 40s?

I keep being struck by how enthusiastic the 40-somethings are.

It's like some of us just wake up one day at that age, with the certain knowledge that playing the clarinet is going to solve all our problems.

I keep wondering what it is that drives that instinct. If we knew, then we could say the right thing to these people, so as to meet their need with minimal angst.

Also if it's a biological phenomenon like puberty, then what comes next?

And is it good? (I'm hoping it is good.)

Jennifer (who started at 42)

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 Re: Why so many 40-something starters?
Author: lydian 
Date:   2023-06-25 05:55

I did it out of necessity in order to get and keep gigs that required doubling. It's been challenging to play at a professional level as a relative novice.

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 Re: Why so many 40-something starters?
Author: SecondTry 
Date:   2023-06-25 08:06

Maybe someone with a handle like SecondTry could hazard a guess.

And maybe it's not so much "start" as restart. In either case the following can apply:

You get married, you work on your career (assuming it's not in music), you raise kids, you take care of the kids your parents end up becoming as they age and eventually find themselves victim of that all medical science still can't address, those kids grow up, become more enamored with friends, the places cars will take them, college, and their careers etc. as the cycle repeats itself.

One day some free time and fate finds you in front of that instrument you loved and gave up for other priorities now behind you.

One theory I suppose.

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 Re: Why so many 40-something starters?
Author: Gerwin 
Date:   2023-06-25 10:25

Does 50 something count as well?
I stopped playing when my professional career in IT started. After a day of working, travelling, cooking, eating and cleaning up I didn’t have the time or energy to practice. Also, most neighbours don’t appreciate it if you play at 9 pm.
I started playing again when covid made me work from home. Not having to travel 2 hours a day enables me to play an hour or more after work.
I even have enough freedom at work to start early, visit my teacher to have a lesson, and finish work a bit later.
Work is good, but it shouldn’t interfere with the important things of life so much😀

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 Re: Why so many 40-something starters?
Author: Julian ibiza 
Date:   2023-06-25 11:35


This question reminds me a bit of Eddie Izzard talking about playing clarinet as a child . It's a hilarious stand up sketch you can find on YouTube < Eddie Izzard " Sexy Tunes " >.

It's maybe a bit off topic but it's very funny .

Julian Griffiths
Tel. 34 696 798 853

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 Re: Why so many 40-something starters?
Author: Julian ibiza 
Date:   2023-06-25 13:29


But to try to address the question more seriously . An old friend of mine ( old in both ways now ) once told me ,

"What I like about art is ...it's completely useless".

I left her house that day feeling baffled ,because she had dedicated her life to painting and was passionate about it .

Mulling over this paradoxical remark ( and she never made throwaway comments ) , I realized that she was referring to holding a relationship with something in which its merit is entirely a personal matter. We tend to spend most of our adult lives responding to a rational hierarchy of demands relating to matters of external value and tend to neglect our relationship with ourselves . Any activity that fits ones needs for that simplified relationship with oneself is cathartic and can really be a life saver ....or at least general wellbeing defender amid the madness of life .

I know that if I neglect mine ,then my ability to achieve all those things of outer value in my life becomes more of an uphill struggle and I have less positivity for the world around me ,so I think that having some little bubble which " reboots ". us is VERY important .

So I expect that for those of us that take up learning a instrument later in life , we probably don't have great aspirations as to where we will get with it,so much as a healthy recognition of a pursuit which feeds the soul and settles the mind .

Julian Griffiths
Tel. 34 696 798 853

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 Re: Why so many 40-something starters?
Author: Selmer Buff 
Date:   2023-06-25 22:29

I started at 11 because I was told too.

I restarted at 41 because my father handed me a Selmer 9.

I rerestarted at 61 because illness took away so many other things. This time I think it will take. It's learning to read the music well that has been the barrier.

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 Re: Why so many 40-something starters?
Author: davidjsc 
Date:   2023-06-26 07:37

I restarted playing when I was 50 – after not playing for previous 15-17 years – due to no longer playing semi-competitive sports as well as acquiring a house, so I once again had the time and place to practise at home. Having a lot of spare time during the early days of the pandemic was what kicked started me to dig out all my instruments and start playing. Previously stuck in a tiny 500sqft apartment for 15~years with thin walls and close neighbours made it impossible to play my wind instruments. I knew when I played sports I had only a limited time frame due to age, so unable to do both pursuits and interests, I figured at some point when I was older and no longer playing sports 2-3 / week I could then return to music.

DSC

~~ Alto Clarinet; Bass Clarinet; B-flat and C Boehm Clarinets; Albert C Clarinet; Oboe ~~


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 Re: Why so many 40-something starters?
Author: Mr. Mitch 
Date:   2023-06-26 19:43

You hit the nail on the head Julian. This is exactly my story and why I started to play at age 54. Happy to say that playing my clarinet scratches that itch perfectly.

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 Re: Why so many 40-something starters?
Author: SunnyDaze 
Date:   2023-06-26 20:10

I think this is the thing that I keep thinking about in my playing:

"a pursuit which feeds the soul and settles the mind"

The curriula for learning musical instruments are very strongly geared towards excellence, and tend to neglect teaching the player to have a healthy relationship with the instrument that will enable them to use it for their own wellbeing throughout life.

I think this is why so many children give up music, and why so many of us come back to it later in life. At this later stage we are old enough to stand our ground and insist on playing in a healthy way, rather than in a competitive way.

I keep wondering whether we 40-somethings could come up with a teaching system that would enable children and later starters to learn in a healthy, non-competitive way, that would give them just enough skill, but loads and loads of the good stuff that makes music a pleasure.

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 Re: Why so many 40-something starters?
Author: Julian ibiza 
Date:   2023-06-27 00:47


I think that learning music theory is a bit of a desert to be crossed for children and that it contrasts harshly with the lush landscapes of music which attract them. I'm not sure how one can get around that, but I believe that there is a delicate balancing act there which is perhaps not always managed with enough sensitivity.
While reading music is indispensable, I believe in a degree of learning and playing from memory, because this more readily lends itself to the flow of individual interpretation and the dimension of creativity . This can of course be done through reading music , but not with the degree of proficiency that children are likely to have mastered . Hence I imagine that a lot of the most naturally artistic children become frustrated and disillusioned with the learning process.

Julian Griffiths
Tel. 34 696 798 853

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 Re: Why so many 40-something starters?
Author: Fuzzy 
Date:   2023-06-27 03:42

SunnyDaze,

I do understand your most recent post pertaining to "healthy play,"...but I'd suggest competition isn't always the "bad guy." Many times it is simply the culture of a group of people that makes it uglier than it might need to be.

I look back very fondly on the days of meeting with high school friends to see who could outdo one another. Sometimes we'd meet at my house, sometimes at one of the others. We learned an awful lot this way and had a ton of fun doing it.

It drove us to be better players, and was a lot of fun. None of us wanted to be "left behind" so to speak, so we always tried to figure out a way to pull out something unexpected to put us on top for that day.

Even to this day, when jamming/gigging - or even while playing in a small church ensembles - it is a joy to egg each other on a bit and try to throw in a surprise or two. The trick is to find joy in the other fellow coming out on top, just as if you had come out on top yourself.

That said, some of the college studios I took part in had terrible culture. Laugh-at-your-ill-fortune type of stuff. Nasty.

Competition and "healthy play" aren't at odds though - they can coexist quite nicely...if the culture cultivated by the music group(s) allow for it.

I think "Play" in and of itself is actually a type of competition.

Fuzzy
;^)>>>

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 Re: Why so many 40-something starters?
Author: Julian ibiza 
Date:   2023-06-27 10:34


Where I live in Spain , the competitive element between the children at the music schools doesn't seem to be a factor . Rather the more advanced level children have an almost custodial, protective and supportive attitude towards the younger or less proficient ones .

My 11 year old son is learning cello and his two ' rivals' are a couple of women in their 40s . In the music school concerts ,where the students perform solo,he regularly blows them both away, and afterwards they tend to come up to him to commend him and sort of paw at him like he was a saint that could pass them some musical don. I suspect that much of the ' don' they lack would have been theirs had they had some degree of musical education as children( just guessing here ..... they might just be tone deaf ).

Learning music can be a grind for children but they learn relatively quickly and even if they end up dropping it , what they've learnt will give them a very significant advantage if they later re-take up playing again as adults .

This has very clearly been the case for my wife .

Julian Griffiths
Tel. 34 696 798 853

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 Re: Why so many 40-something starters?
Author: SunnyDaze 
Date:   2023-06-27 17:42

Thanks for those thoughts.

I've been pondering the situation for the 40-somethings really, not for the children. But I can't exactly figure out where I'm going with it. I'll keep thinking.

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 Re: Why so many 40-something starters?
Author: smokindok 
Date:   2023-06-27 22:48

Fuzzy wrote:

>… I look back very fondly on the days of meeting with high school
> friends to see who could outdo one another. Sometimes we'd
> meet at my house, sometimes at one of the others. We learned an
> awful lot this way and had a ton of fun doing it.
>
> It drove us to be better players, and was a lot of fun. None
> of us wanted to be "left behind" so to speak, so we always
> tried to figure out a way to pull out something unexpected to
> put us on top for that day…
>
> … Competition and "healthy play" aren't at odds though - they can
> coexist quite nicely...if the culture cultivated by the music
> group(s) allow for it.
>
> I think "Play" in and of itself is actually a type of
> competition.

Fuzzy, you summarized perfectly what was a life-changing realization for me. Unfortunately, it wasn’t until I was in college and read Timothy Gallwey’s “The Inner Game of Tennis” that my outlook on competition was altered. At its core, the purpose of competition should be to bring out your best performance, so that you also draw out the best performance of your competitor. This way competition becomes a collaborative experience rather than, as you aptly described it, a “nasty” one.

It is great to hear that this was your experience in high school; what a great group of friends! I wish this philosophy of competition was more widely taught by teachers and coaches, and demonstrated by more professional athletes, who for better or worse, end up being role models for impressionable kids.

John



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 Re: Why so many 40-something starters?
Author: arthurpalves 
Date:   2023-07-03 17:46

I'm not in my 40s yet but have the same urge to play again. Start anew. For me it's a way to reconnect with who I was growing up and bring people together.

For context, I started playing/learning at 7 yo and did so consistently until I was 16. Playing in a youth orchestra as well as a regular one. Life took me in other directions afterwards and now I'm 30, in a different country, with a life that I've never imagined back when I stopped playing the clarinet.

It does feel like I've done what I had to do to secure me a good and joyful life and now I can focus on making beautiful music again, playing for and with friends.

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 Re: Why so many 40-something starters?
Author: SunnyDaze 
Date:   2023-07-04 00:34

Hi Arthur,

That's a lovely way of putting it.

Jennifer

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