 The Clarinet BBoard
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Author: Ken Shaw ★2017
Date: 2015-04-02 05:29
The International Clarinet Association has released an EMERGENCY warning about the Ebola virus, which has mutated into a form known as Claribola. Palri Oofl, the ICA spokesperson, says that the new form infects only wind instruments and players and is spread through direct contact with infected reeds, primarily Vandoren. Fortunately, the virus infects only good reeds, so only one in 10 is dangerous. However, if you put a new reed on and it plays great, you'll soon be dead.
Today, drone strikes on Arundo Donax plantations have set 97% of them ablaze, and it's predicted that the species will be wiped out quickly.
Once established, the virus also infects grenadilla wood. There is a possibility that it could spread to plastics.
In other news, the market for metal clarinets, previously thought of as junk, has skyrocketed. Current trading value is 10 handmade Backun clarinets for one metal Aristocrat clarinet, currently used as a lamp but possibly restorable.
Kne Sawh
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Author: Ursa
Date: 2015-04-02 05:52
Oh, dear, I found a good Vandoren reed earlier today. Well, I guess we're all gonna die from something, sooner or later.
Ken, if I don't make it 'til tomorrow, there is a Conn 11N alto clarinet in my clarinet closet that I would like you to have. It's hard rubber, just like the Ridenour Libertas.
Post Edited (2015-04-02 05:54)
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Author: gsurosey
Date: 2015-04-02 06:03
Hey, I guess that metal clarinet that's been chilling out under my bed IS good for something after all!
...
Um... I mean, no, there are no metal clarinets here. No need to tear apart my apartment and hold me for ransom. That lamp over there? No, it's not a Vito plastic clarinet. I don't know what you're talking about...
:)
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Rachel
Clarinet Stash:
Bb/A: Buffet R13
Eb: Bundy
Bass: Royal Global Max
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Author: Ursa
Date: 2015-04-02 20:44
Uh oh, I woke up today with a cough and a sore throat.
Maybe I should write up my last will and testament, just in case.
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Author: davyd
Date: 2015-04-03 01:56
A day late for April Fools, but good for a chuckle nonetheless.
To be on the safe side, maybe it's time to switch to synthetic reeds?
Post Edited (2015-04-03 06:52)
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