 The Clarinet BBoard
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Author: PutnamFellow161
Date: 2019-08-01 21:19
In all four years of high school, I fully expected myself to make All-State for at least one time, but it didn't happen. On the contrary, I embarrassed myself in front of my entire high school and I'm still not over it despite me having graduated from high school in 2018. There were kids who mocked me who did make All-State, and I feel that the war is not over yet as I intend to participate in some international competition to have my sweet revenge on them.
However, I feel ridiculously behind them since I never made the All-State band, and now I have to start over from scratch. Will I ever catch up and beat those All-State kids or will I have to give up the clarinet and focus on my astrophysics major in college? I already bought the R13 this year, and I'm sounding so much better than I did on the Ridenour 576.
Post Edited (2019-08-01 21:20)
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Author: tucker ★2017
Date: 2019-08-01 21:45
Being humbled can be a tough learning experience at any age. Revenge is not a positive attribute to incorporate in your game plan. Stop trying to impress people and set your goals for YOU, not them. You're no longer in competition with them. Move on.
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Author: PutnamFellow161
Date: 2019-08-01 21:46
No longer in competition? Are you saying that I'm simply not good enough? What an insult. I always get insulted. People never see the mesmerizing potential in me, but screw them all. I don't know why you think my goals aren't for me when they obviously are.
Post Edited (2019-08-01 22:06)
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Author: bmcgar ★2017
Date: 2019-08-01 22:07
You "always get insulted"?
I think that you need to examine the truth of that statement and replace it with something more reasonable such as, "I have been insulted a few times in my life, but not 'always,' and even then, I survived."
B.
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Author: PutnamFellow161
Date: 2019-08-01 22:09
Lol. "A few times"... if you qualify being insulted around 2-3 times every day since around 2004 as "a few times", then all right.
Post Edited (2019-08-01 22:09)
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Author: kdk ★2017
Date: 2019-08-01 22:26
Have you posted about this before? It sounds like a familiar situation, though maybe a year and one more missed All-State later.
PutnamFellow161 wrote:
> In all four years of high school, I fully expected myself to
> make All-State for at least one time, but it didn't happen. On
> the contrary, I embarrassed myself in front of my entire high
> school and I'm still not over it despite me having graduated
> from high school in 2018.
There really shouldn't be an issue of embarrassment for not having made All-State. *Most* high school players don't make it into All-State. That you weren't one of the very few shouldn't embarrass you. Unless your high school is a very small one with a very close-knit student body, most of the kids in your school don't know you didn't make it in or even that you auditioned.
> There were kids who mocked me who did
> make All-State, and I feel that the war is not over yet as I
> intend to participate in some international competition to have
> my sweet revenge on them.
>
There are a couple of things wrong here. First, if someone is "mocking" you, it's their character flaw, not yours, that is the problem. That you look at it as a "war" suggests that there is a mutually, or reciprocally antagonistic attitude involved that's aggravating the situation from your point of view. You can't control the other kids' attitudes or their behavior. You can only control yours. If they're behaving badly, you have the choice to avoid them unless you've ended up in the same college after graduation. You will, or should, never need have anything to do with them again.
> However, I feel ridiculously behind them since I never made the
> All-State band, and now I have to start over from scratch.
Now to your state of affairs. You aren't "ridiculously behind them" *because* you didn't make All-State. If you *are* behind them in musical or technical development (and I have no way to know one way or the other), that's why you didn't make All-State and they did. You have the cart before the horse, as the cliche goes.
> Will I ever catch up and beat those All-State kids
You will catch up if your basic talent level is equal to theirs and your dedication to furthering your development is sincere and conscientious. You will get better if you study, practice and learn from your mistakes. (That last one is where many of us fell down as young students - we neither recognized many of our mistakes nor really learned much from them, which requires accepting them as being mistakes at all.) This is a part of your behavior you control directly. The level you eventually reach has nothing to do with how anyone else plays. It has only to do with what energy you put into the process going forward.
> or will I
> have to give up the clarinet and focus on my astrophysics major
> in college? I already bought the R13 this year, and I'm
> sounding so much better than I did on the Ridenour 576.
>
Whether or not you give up the clarinet isn't dependent on "catching up" to anyone, and lots of musicians who perform at a high level also have day jobs that pay the mortgage and food bills, jobs for which they trained while they kept studying to play their instruments. You must have chosen astrophysics for a reason - hopefully, it's a field you enjoy. If so, it shouldn't be something you "have to do" instead of continuing to play the clarinet. You should have been accepted into the program, too, for a reason - you were assessed as bright and talented enough to have a good shot at success as an astrophysicist. You can certainly focus on your major and still progress and improve in music and clarinet.
What you should do is sit down with someone in whose judgment you trust and talk all of this over with him or her. Sit and talk more than once. Talk about and focus on what you want to get out of life and what success in *life* generally seems to look like from your present point of view. Stop living in your past, stop comparing yourself to people you probably aren't ever going to see again, and start living your own present and future.
Karl
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Author: Fuzzy
Date: 2019-08-01 22:38
Quote:
No longer in competition? Are you saying that I'm simply not good enough? What an insult. Surely this must be an attempt at humor?
Fuzzy
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Author: tucker ★2017
Date: 2019-08-01 22:40
I think there are some issues here that would require professional intervention, or it's someone punking the bulletin board.
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Author: PutnamFellow161
Date: 2019-08-01 22:42
You say that most high school students don't make All-State, but I wanted to be one of the best in the state. That was my goal, and it was disappointing and depressing to see that goal not come to fruition despite all of my hard work. I have seen the look on some of the band members' faces when I didn't make All-State for the third and fourth times. They weren't pretty at all. Hell, I was mocked by other clarinet players from other schools in my former high school district and the city for not making state.
It pisses me off how some of these people did better than me in the All-Area audition. It shows that the villains can win at times, but I will come back to get them all because the story needs to end in a glorious victory for me.
It is too hard to move on when you see that you apparently screwed (didn't practice the right way or didn't get the best clarinet possible in high school or low IQ; I don't know what truly caused my loss) around so hard in high school and it could have all been avoided. I need to make up for it to make myself feel better.
To the more recent posts, how dare you call this a joke thread when it isn't.
Post Edited (2019-08-01 22:43)
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Author: Steven Ocone
Date: 2019-08-01 22:49
Why play music? To compete? For self esteem? There will (hopefully) always be someone better and some of the best aren't necessarily contented individuals.
Steve Ocone
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Author: PutnamFellow161
Date: 2019-08-01 23:01
I’d be content if I will still be inferior to someone on the level of Martin Frost or Ricardo Morales, but not the jerks who beat me.
Post Edited (2019-08-01 23:02)
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Author: GBK
Date: 2019-08-01 23:18
In the bigger picture, with many years of clarinet playing ahead of you, making all-county, all-state, all-galaxy, is basically meaningless.
It has absolutely no bearing on either your future playing or future musical employment (if you're considering that as a profession).
Play the clarinet for your own enjoyment and to convey your love of music. If there is too much stress, you need to question why you are doing it.
...GBK
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Author: Dan Oberlin ★2017
Date: 2019-08-01 23:29
Every year five high school students in the country are recognized as Putnam Fellows:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Lowell_Putnam_Mathematical_Competition
Every year at least five hundred high school students make an all-state band. It's probably the case that your native mathematical ability significantly exceeds your potential as a clarinetist. It would be nice to be truly exceptional in both areas, but you haven't been dealt a bad hand. Stick with the astrophysics but find a clarinet teacher who will help you improve. And then take satisfaction from your improvement instead of from how you compare with other clarinetists.
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Author: Ed
Date: 2019-08-01 23:40
You can't control many things outside of yourself.
Get a good teacher, practice your butt off, work harder than anyone else.
"When they knock you down, you not only have to get up, but you have to make it clear that you won't be knocked down a second time.” -Carl Yastrzemski
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Author: Fuzzy
Date: 2019-08-01 23:40
Sorry, but I'm still confused by this post from PutnamFellow161 on 1/15/2019 (http://test.woodwind.org/clarinet/BBoard/read.html?f=1&i=471104&t=471096):
"Hey all,
I just made the TMEA All-State Band last Saturday, and I want to know if there are any similar competitions at the college level."
My question about whether this current post was a jest, was set in the light of this previous post as well as other hints within the thread. No ill will was meant.
Fuzzy
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Author: PutnamFellow161
Date: 2019-08-01 23:48
That other thread was a joke, but not this one. Of course, I was still mad about the loss in 2018 so I felt inundated enough to create a thread for what should have been. Sorry for the confusion.
Post Edited (2019-08-01 23:51)
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Author: Paul Aviles
Date: 2019-08-01 23:50
Michael Lowenstern had one of the best responses to this idea of competition. I don't have the video citation but maybe someone can dig this up. He basically says that unlike sports where performance is a clearly measurable task in time or inches, music is very subjective and there are soooooo many other strengths that one has for whatever weaknesses they MAY have. Mr. Lowenstern further said that he is comfortable with the things that he knows that he cannot do, but emphasizes those musical things at which he excels and has quite an enviable career as a professional bass clarinet player.
I for one couldn't even read music in high school. It's pretty funny when I had the equivalent of a 30 year reunion and was asked if I could read music now. I was initially put off by the question but quickly realized how that was how that person remembered me. Here must also add that I work with a completely blind clarinetist who plays FIRST in a local community band and he does it flawlessly. He had ididic memory and LISTENS to the sounds the conductor makes. He's more accurate then all the rest of us put together.
So just concentrate on the joy of music, what you do best and realize that as a temporal art (it disappears in the air as soon as the last note is over) nothing, NOTHING in the past matters.
.................Paul Aviles
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Author: jdbassplayer
Date: 2019-08-02 00:26
>That other thread was a joke, but not this one. Of course, I was still mad about >the loss in 2018 so I felt inundated enough to create a thread for what should > been. Sorry for the confusion.
I highly recommend consider seeing a therapist, and I mean that in the sincerest way possible. If you go though life worrying about what opportunities you missed you are always going to be miserable regardless of what you achieve. Trust me I know what it's like to see my dreams fall apart, in fact I bet most people here know this feeling to some extent. But the most successful people in this world are those who learn from their failures and move on.
-Jdbassplayer
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Author: tucker ★2017
Date: 2019-08-02 01:46
Seeing a therapist is the best advise I've seen on this thread. LOTS if issues in play here.
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Author: Bob Bernardo
Date: 2019-08-02 01:58
Well maybe record something, anything and post it here? Scales is fine for now. There are a lot of good and great players that can give you advice.
Becoming a professional musician in some cases is like becoming a pro golfer. The golfers often don't like playing golf for the fun of it; it's a job. Just a way to make a living. Music is the same, just a job. At times I hate it and take a few weeks off, but not often. Maybe every 2 years.
I remember very well when this happened to me, when music was no longer that fun, just a job. Yes there are moments when it's fun, but practicing 5 to 6 hours a day sucks to be the best and to beat out your competition. I realized at one point in high school if I were to be the best I had to put in the hours, because I wasn't as gifted in some areas of music as other players. Also some players such as Bliss started when they were much younger, so I had to catch up.
You are at the level now where music must be practiced around 6 hours a day for you to beat out your All-State musicians. Remember they practice about 2 to 3 hours a day so if you want to beat them this is what you need to do.
You can't play games anymore. You need to put in 5 to 6 hours of practice a day.
You need to post your progress here so the great players can help you. You can get all the college degrees in music you want, but if you want to perform you must be the best at your craft and beat out your fellow classmates and always be the first chair player. Not sometimes, always. This is not a game anymore.
An example - When I auditioned for the Washington DC Air Force band, the Marine Band is considered the best, but any of the DC bands are wicked hard to get into, expect 100 plus players to audition and they take just 1 on average. I was that 1. So getting into All State is not the problem. It's putting in the practicing. Out of the 100 players only 15 were good enough to take the audition. The rest pretty much were horrible. But those 15 could have gotten the job, but were denied due to simple things, such as sight reading,scales, a squeak, and rhythm, missed notes, and sound.
So dig deep into your heart. Are you ready to put in the hard work? If not go into astrophysics, it will pay much higher. So grow up fast. Rejection in the music business is normal and it's just beginning. No one likes rejections. You may take 25 auditions and only nail 1, but 1 is all you need.
Designer of - Vintage 1940 Cicero Mouthpieces and the La Vecchia mouthpieces
Yamaha Artist 2015
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Author: bmcgar ★2017
Date: 2019-08-02 02:30
"Lol. "A few times"... if you qualify being insulted around 2-3 times every day since around 2004 as "a few times", then all right."
You will surely see this as yet another insult, but you're either a truly flawed human being (which I doubt; never known one) or you're not seeing your interactions with other people as they truly are. Yes, I would see a therapist.
(I'm a therapist, btw, and I have seen many people who feel persecuted like you do who have learned to look at their interactions from a different perspective.)
Your problem has nothing to do with the clarinet.
B.
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Author: Tony F
Date: 2019-08-02 03:55
This post sounds like the rantings of a petulant 12-year-old rather than somebody approaching adulthood. If you spend your life brooding about your perceived failures rather than enjoying the satisfaction that comes from your successes then your life is going to be a lot less enjoyable than it could be.
Tony F.
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Author: PutnamFellow161
Date: 2019-08-02 04:04
I got called another pejorative. Stop insulting me. I don't know what you mean by "successes" as they are nonexistent in my life.
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Author: PutnamFellow161
Date: 2019-08-02 04:07
@Bob Bernardo, why do I need to practice for 6-7 hours a day when they are practicing for 2-3 hours a day? Is it all a matter of "talent"? I was already practicing for around two hours a day when I was preparing for All-State, so I believe that it was the clarinet and gear that held back my potential. I already said that I sound so much better on the R13, which I bought earlier this year. My life feels like the lottery; I always lose.
@bmcgar, tell me, great one, how should I view the many insults that have been hurled at me? To me, all they want to do is insult me for having a mediocre life.
Post Edited (2019-08-02 04:14)
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Author: jdbassplayer
Date: 2019-08-02 04:48
@bmcgar, tell me, great one, how should I view the many insults that have been hurled at me? To me, all they want to do is insult me for having a mediocre life.
You ignore them. If you take everything negative that people tell you to heart then you are basically giving your happiness away. You need to live your life for you and no one else.
-Jdbassplayer
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Author: tucker ★2017
Date: 2019-08-02 05:01
He's an internet troll. Don't take him seriously.
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Author: PutnamFellow161
Date: 2019-08-02 05:07
Hahaha. No one ever takes me seriously even if I am sincere.
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Author: GBK
Date: 2019-08-02 07:08
[Alright kids, enough is enough. Some very good advice in good faith has been given. It now remains as to whether it is followed.]
...GBK
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