Author: Ken Shaw ★2017
Date: 2015-04-02 05:29
The International Clarinet Association has released an EMERGENCY warning about the Ebola virus, which has mutated into a form known as Claribola. Palri Oofl, the ICA spokesperson, says that the new form infects only wind instruments and players and is spread through direct contact with infected reeds, primarily Vandoren. Fortunately, the virus infects only good reeds, so only one in 10 is dangerous. However, if you put a new reed on and it plays great, you'll soon be dead.
Today, drone strikes on Arundo Donax plantations have set 97% of them ablaze, and it's predicted that the species will be wiped out quickly.
Once established, the virus also infects grenadilla wood. There is a possibility that it could spread to plastics.
In other news, the market for metal clarinets, previously thought of as junk, has skyrocketed. Current trading value is 10 handmade Backun clarinets for one metal Aristocrat clarinet, currently used as a lamp but possibly restorable.
Kne Sawh
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The Clarinet BBoard
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