Author: Lelia Loban ★2017
Date: 2010-06-01 11:53
I've influenced my human staffer to type this for me. The usual method of making the human think she's fallen asleep at the computer works so well that I'm afraid I do resort to it, though it does seem rather rude. At any rate, I found this thread most interesting and therefore I have conducted a scientific study to determine whether or not the insertion of a feline paw and arm (to wit: mine) can provide a clarinet player with an additional low note.
The results so far have proven disappointing, although not entirely definitive, due to a sample size of fewer than fifty experimental trials and also to the fact that I performed this experiment upon an amateur clarinet player (to wit: Lelia) rather than a professional. I shall need a minimum of at least 200 trials (100 with the left arm and 100 with the right) before regarding my results as conclusive. Thus far, however, the insertion of the feline arm does not seem to provide the clarinet player with a usable lower note, though with various stretching and grabbing techniques I have produced a most entertaining assortment of high-pitched squeals. The human appears to regard these as unfortunate side-effects and has discontinued participating in these trials before I was ready to deem them complete, however.
Incidentally, the insertion of a feline head as far as possible into the bell does provide a low note, the pitch of which varies slightly if the feline (to wit: myself) moves her head around, alternates nose-first with ears-first and so forth. It is also possible to produce the entertaining extreme altissimo with this method. Once again, however, my human staffer appears to find these experiments disquieting and has ceased participation prematurely.
I happen to have sleek, short black fur on a slender body. I am unaware of any experiments by larger, heavier and longer-haired cats of numerous different colors, particularly those of the Persian persuasion, to see whether these variables might produce different results. Certain old-fashioned stiff-whiskered bigots on the Afterlife Council have inveighed against such experimentation and thus retarded the progress of science.
Apropos of whuch, by the way, the heresy case brought against me by my former mentor, Professor Shadow Cat, has been dismissed with prejudice by the Afterlife Council, but the pre-trial discovery process made me privy to certain information normally kept secret from those of us currently residing in the breathing world: I already have Permanent Cat status. My reincarnative history is nearly as long as that of Professor Shadow Cat and her threats to deny me Permanent Cat and reduce me to a mealy-bug next time around were nothing but air-hisses with no spit behind them. I flip my tail at her superstitious fulminations against so-called "screech-sticks" and I shall continue my experiments.
Rrrrt!
Jane Feline
Lelia
http://www.scoreexchange.com/profiles/Lelia_Loban
To hear the audio, click on the "Scorch Plug-In" box above the score.
Post Edited (2010-06-01 11:54)
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The Clarinet BBoard
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