 The Clarinet BBoard
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Author: feadog79
Date: 2009-09-03 22:52
For those who are familiar with the "Headlines" bit on the Tonight Show, can anyone remember any funny listings of instruments for sale that they've seen?
For instance, I recently found a clarinet for sale with "original case, and slightly used professional mouthpiece and ligament."
:-)
JW
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Author: tictactux ★2017
Date: 2009-09-03 23:08
Don't forget the "toppest quality" product from, uhm, China, I guess.
--
Ben
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Author: Curinfinwe
Date: 2009-09-04 11:10
Oh, I saw an ad once for a Bundy clarinet, that "looked like the reed thing might need to be repaired- there's a crack in it."
I corrected the spelling and grammar in that sentence from the original before typing it.
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Author: huff n' puff
Date: 2009-09-04 13:09
Slightly off- beam, but for decades a local shop here ran an ad on the front page of a national newspaper selling- "accordions, guitars, and MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS". I don't remember seeing clarinets in the window though ...... H n' P.
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Author: feadog79
Date: 2009-09-04 14:12
huff n' puff wrote:
"Slightly off- beam, but for decades a local shop here ran an ad on the front page of a national newspaper selling- "accordions, guitars, and MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS". I don't remember seeing clarinets in the window though ...... H n' P."
Reminds me of this one time when my wife and I attended a parade that my mother's bagpipe band was participating in. Knowing that we were both music instructors, one of the band members asked my father if my wife and I also played the bagpipes.
He replied, "No...they're musicians."
JW
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Author: stacyc
Date: 2009-09-05 00:08
Don't forget the "toppest quality" product from, uhm, China, I guess.
LOL, thats my favorite!! Sometimes its worth going to the Clarinet listings on Ebay to see what people put on them.
This is one i found today:
The corks and pads are well in tack
This clarinet is 3 seasons old but it was only played for half season
I copied and pasted those parts to save from the whole 9 line sales pitch.
~~Been playing clarinet 17yrs and counting, now playing with the local community orchestra and now my son has taken on the tradition and I couldn't be more proud!~~
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Author: Lelia Loban ★2017
Date: 2009-09-05 17:24
I've heard some strange sales pitches at flea markets. One painfully honest dealer told me that she'd discounted a clarinet because the mouthpiece was missing its "little wooden thing." She explained that it was supposed to look like a miniature shim. Others have pointed out to me that a little wooden thing was damaged.
When I've explained that the little wooden thing is disposable and shouldn't affect the price of a clarinet one way or another, these dealers were surprised -- and if I remembered to ask a dealer whence came the idea that the reed was an important part of the instrument, it turned out that either the dealer had compared the instrument with a photo of an assembled clarinet and didn't understand, or would-be customers (ignorant or unscrupulous?) had tried to beat down the price by making a great big deal out of criticizing the reed or lack thereof.
Lelia
http://www.scoreexchange.com/profiles/Lelia_Loban
To hear the audio, click on the "Scorch Plug-In" box above the score.
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Author: Dori
Date: 2009-09-05 19:15
Another honest seller offered a clarinet, "mouthpiece missing". The instrument pictured was an oboe.
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Author: Nessie1
Date: 2009-09-06 18:30
One well meaning member of our band actually put a notice at our rehearsal venue
"Band seeks competent musicians as new members. Also a drummer".
Vanessa.
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Author: davyd
Date: 2009-09-07 00:07
One of my colleagues claims to have seen an advertisement starting off "Saxophone for sale: recently tuned" 
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Author: D Dow
Date: 2009-09-08 17:57
I have seen alot of "Vintage like new"...confusing.
David Dow
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Author: tictactux ★2017
Date: 2009-09-08 18:03
...reminds me of the "clarinette en condition menthe"...
--
Ben
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Author: chris moffatt
Date: 2009-09-10 17:41
well back to that auction site - how about for a simple (albert) system dating to the early C20, with a missing speaker key and a tenon completely broken off the top stack....."might need a few new pads, otherwise looks playable..."
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