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Re: Thoughts on choosing to become a professional musician

Author: TonkaToy
Date: 2006-11-09 19:06

Frank,

You've expressed very well the thoughts that, i'm sure, many of us have had. I applaud your ability to verbalize with clarity and without bitterness the sad reality of realizing your dream and passion in life has to end.

When I finished graduate school I was freelancing and working a straight job. I went to take a lesson with my former teacher, and as I recall, it went very well. My teacher was in the process of complimenting me on my playing when he stopped, got this odd look on his face, shook his head, and said, " this is just crazy. I've had students who are wonderful players and the odds are that none of them are going to get a job". We then had a wonderful conversation about the state of the symphony orchestra, the lack of meaningful employment, why conservatories continue to churn out qualified performers for a non existent job market, and all of the other unspoken truths about where a love for music can lead you.

I thought I was going to be one of the lucky ones, as I'm sure everyone does. I was fortunate enough to get a position with a regional orchestra. However, after a couple of years I walked away. I just couldn't imagine leading the life I was leading when I was 50 instead of 25. No health insurance, low pay, Sunday mornings playing, "Drop Kick Me Jesus Through the Goalposts of Life",and teaching children every week who had no more interest in music than I had in the actuarial sciences.

I stopped playing completly. I just couldn't go on. People would ask me, "why don't you play any more"? I'd try to explain to them that I knew what it was like to play well and I had no interest in playing poorly on an occasional basis. It seemed pointless at the time to practice. There were no performances to prepare for. It seemed beyond insane to practice just to be practicing. For what?

Flash forward 20 years. I practice everyday and don't sound too bad if I do say so. It's not what it once was, but hey. I play a little around town but I'm not really serious about it. I have another life to lead now. But you know what? I love to play the clarinet. I always have and always will. I love the Baerman book. I love playing Rose etudes. I love finding a new piece or revisiting an old piece. It's part of who I am.

I wish there were more employement opportunities for musicians. I would love to be excited about going to work every day, like I once was. In retrospect, and looking ahead because I have a very musically gifted child I would never encourage anyone to pursue a music degree. I think the best model is an old chamber music coach of mine. He had an engineering degree from MIT but was a great bassoon player. His musical talent and drive allowed him to have a wonderful career as a performer and teacher, but he always had that engineering degree from MIT to fall back on.

Frank, but of luck to you. I hope everything turns out well for you.

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