 The Clarinet BBoard
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Author: Kc2edh
Date: 2014-05-12 09:50
My clarinet case stayed closed for a long time. Over two years. It was quite a change from my time in music school and when I first started teaching, where I lived and breathed music. But, it hit a point where I had a very bad experience caused by some terrible people both inside and outside my teaching job, and I decided to close that chapter of my life.
I'm now back in college for environmental biology, earning 4.0's semester after semester for the first time in my life. I'm healthy because the stress is so unbelievably low compared to teaching in a public school, and I actually have the energy to get some exercise at the end of the day. Rather than having any artistic outlet through music, I put my effort into black and white photography. I built a darkroom and started selling prints in local art galleries, earning just as much as I had playing gigs before. I wish I had the foresight to do this first, I'm actually happy for the first time in ten years. I picked the perfect small rural school, both the students and professors are so helpful and encouraging. There is no trace of the music school "I hope you fail so I can get ahead" mentality.
This encouraging attitude also translates to the open mic nights here, so I recently decided to start playing again. I pulled out the Sutermeister, Mozart, and Bela Kovacs Hommages, and sure enough my fingers still work! Rather than just bringing back bad memories, music is fun again because we're all playing for each other. Music is enjoyed because of its message and intrinsic value. Practicing is enjoyable for the first time in years.
Has anyone else become disillusioned with music, only to return later?
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Author: Lelia Loban ★2017
Date: 2014-05-12 17:52
You have lots of company on this bb. Many of us are come-backers.
I never played or taught music professionally and never became disillustioned with music as such, but I did get fed up with stage fright in amateur performances on clarinet and piano. For that reason, I "quit for good" after high school.
As an undergraduate, my first serious conversation with a man named Kevin turned up the odd information that we'd both studied music seriously but had both quit our instruments. We married in 1970. We both un-quit several years later. My husband has been an active chamber musician on the violin ever since. I un-quit by giving myself permission never to play in public again.
Two years ago, I made a New Year's resolution to join at least one of the many local amateur groups or at least form a chamber group. Broke the resolution -- unless you count playing for the cat, Jane Feline, a little oddball who breaks all the rules of cat-dom. Among other things, unlike her predecessor, Shadow Cat, who lived to be 21 and never let me forget how much she hated the clarinet the whole time, Jane *likes* the clarinet! An audience! Woo-hoo!
Lelia
http://www.scoreexchange.com/profiles/Lelia_Loban
To hear the audio, click on the "Scorch Plug-In" box above the score.
Post Edited (2014-05-12 17:55)
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Author: fskelley
Date: 2014-05-13 00:38
Lelia- There are alternatives ways to let others enjoy your music these days, and perhaps minimize the stage fright aspects. Set up a video camera (any size, iPhone?, flip, all are likely better than the finest available 20 yr ago) and record anything you think you might want to share. No risk, since you'd never share anything not up to snuff.
Now- when I started doing this some of the time, I found that having the camera on made me nervous, go figure. I killed that by resolving to ALWAYS have the camera on, unless I'm just doing scales or something with zero chance of being a keeper. And pretty soon that did it- camera running now has no effect on me. Downside is I have to stay on top of deleting unusable stuff. You can be as aggressive with that as you want. Perhaps you only keep 1 take per month or 2. You'll still have good stuff to share after a while, even if just for your family. (Warning, you need to stop and restart camera between songs, because editing a 30-60 min video to extract a good take is beyond painful.)
Then (if you post on YouTube) you just have to put up with whatever the peanut gallery might throw your way. But lots of folks disable comments.
Stan in Orlando
EWI 4000S with modifications
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Author: fskelley
Date: 2014-05-13 19:56
All has to do with comfort levels, no 2 of us are bugged by the same list of things. Often I think is has to do with a sense of control (or lack of), but that doesn't explain it all.
But I sympathize with the camera-shy, since we are in an era of pervasive photography and recording. It may go back the other way, whether through totalitarian control of technology (scary stuff already happening in some places), or in response to reasonable demands for personal privacy in free societies. Either way, it may soon not be OK to venture into a public space with a camera without the requisite permissions and licenses. I suspect it would work out to protect the powerful and well-connected from scrutiny, rather than guard the privacy of Joe and Judy Citizen.
Stan in Orlando
EWI 4000S with modifications
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The Clarinet Pages
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