The Clarinet BBoard
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Author: David Spiegelthal
Date: 2000-06-08 14:10
Reading about Lelia's battle with stage fright, I thought I'd throw in a few ideas on that subject. Right up through high school and college, I had the typical case of nerves when performing in public --- the shaky hands, dry throat, etc. What got me over it was when I started playing jazz saxophone, and sitting in on some regular jam sessions that were happening in the area at the time. The more I stood up there and played, especially in one particular club where the Sunday afternoon jam became my 'home away from home', the more comfortable I became. Now I actually crave performing in public, and instead of stage fright, I get a positive adrenaline rush from performing. I still get a wee bit of the shaky hands and dry mouth, but now it's from eager anticipation rather than fear. So, Lelia, if there is some reasonably intimate venue in your area where you can go play music regularly among friends, you might be able to get over the stage fright, at least to the point where you control it (rather than the other way around!).
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Author: Bob Gardner
Date: 2000-06-08 14:58
You can check with your physican about a beta blocker. They are used to treat high blood pressure and a lot of public speakers will take one prior to the event. i even know doctors that will take one prior to doing an operation.
For what it worth.
If I know what I'm going to say before I give a talk or play my horn the more relaxs i am. Ask yourself the question-What is the worst thing that can happen? Then go for it. Most of the people out there love you and will give you support.
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Author: Lelia
Date: 2000-06-08 20:06
Bob Gardner wrote:
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You can check with your physican about a beta blocker. They are used to treat high blood pressure and a lot of public speakers will take one prior to the event. i even know doctors that will take one prior to doing an operation.
For what it worth.
If I know what I'm going to say before I give a talk or play my horn the more relaxs i am. Ask yourself the question-What is the worst thing that can happen? Then go for it. Most of the people out there love you and will give you support.
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I don't mean for this to sound as snotty as it's probably going to sound, but the reality is.... No, actually, most people don't love you. Most people like you or they dislike you or they're indifferent. Love is more special than that.
For some people, all the well-intentioned advice about stage fright makes matters worse. I "got over it" and started enjoying music by giving myself permission never to play in front of anyone again. I came to this decision after quitting because I'd got to the point where I couldn't even play for the gentle, sympathetic piano teacher I liked and respected. No, I didn't have "stage parents" pushing or draconian teachers pressuring. There was no reason for me to have stage fright. I just had it -- or it had me!
Now that I've been playing again for a few years, I don't even play for my husband, who's the most empathetic audience imaginable. Beta blockers are out because I have low blood pressure -- and I'm not sure I'd go that route anyway. Why take powerful drugs for something that's not an illness? I'm not a timid person in most ways (no problem with public speaking, for instance), so the music thing is some loose wiring in the attic and eventually I reconciled myself to it. I never had potential as a pro musician anyway, so it doesn't matter to the great wide world that I'm not out there in front of an audience. I used to try to "get some help" periodically -- what a disaster! The "help" made matters considerably worse, probably by focussing too much (and too narcissistic) attention on the stage fright. Not every problem has an ideal solution. There's not a safe, reliable pill for everything. One thing I'm learning in middle age is that I don't have to follow everybody else's rules about what I *should* do with my music. Music is a wonderful social activity for *some people* -- and was for me for awhile, in school music programs -- but that doesn't mean it has to be social for everybody or forever. What I *want* to do with it is to keep it private!
There's no need to feel sorry for me. I don't feel sorry for myself. On the contrary, I'm enjoying music more now that I've set myself free of other people's expectations than I ever did when I was making myself miserable thinking of stage fright as a disease and trying to find a "cure".
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