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uRGENT wARNING ()

Author: Ken Shaw ★2017
Date: 2007-04-01 22:56

As everyone knows, there's been a population explosion of the panda monsters at all the zoos. The keepers are even showing panda porn to show these stupid animals what to do. I can only repeat my

!!!!!!!!!!!!!Urgent warning to all clarinetists!!!!!!!!!!!

BEWARE THE PANDA MENACE

DO NOT BELIEVE THE CHINESE PROPAGANDA

These little buggers may look cute, but they are a deadly menace to the world's clarinetists. You don't believe me? WHAT DO YOU THINK THEY EAT?

**************
*** BAMBOO ***
**************

That's right, they eat the one thing essential for clarinet playing -- the lifeblood of our profession.

Why do you suppose reeds are so bad these days? BECAUSE THE PANDAS EAT THE BEST BAMBOO!!!!!!!! How could it possibly be any other reason?

IF PANDAS KEEP EATING BAMBOO, PRETTY SOON THERE WILL BE NO REEDS AT ALL.

Panda worship is NOTHING BUT A CONSPIRACY between the CHINESE and the selfish PLASTIC REED MAKERS, so that they can RULE THE WORLD. Once the clarinetists are reedless, what will they turn to next?

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!WAKE UP!!!!!!!!!!!

Join the the Association for Panda Riddance and Incineration of the Little Frond-chomping Outrages Of Lucifer!!!!!!!!!!!!

Remember -- KILL A PANDA -- SAVE A REED BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE

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Re: uRGENT wARNING ()

Author: tictactux ★2017
Date: 2007-04-01 23:06

Whatever you've been playing on, I order a 10-pack. [tongue]

--
Ben

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Re: uRGENT wARNING ()

Author: GBK
Date: 2007-04-01 23:09

"Association for Panda Riddance and Incineration of the Little Frond-chomping Outrages Of Lucifer"

Such a long association name. Perhaps we should just use the initials?

Thanks for the important public service announcement [wink]

...GBK

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Re: uRGENT wARNING ()

Author: Michelle
Date: 2007-04-01 23:36

This is an outrage! I can't believe this issue has been kept under wraps for so long. Clarinetists, Unite!

I, for one, have just returned from my local Zoo, where I tainted the little frond-chomping outrages of lucifer's food supply. 3 less to worry about now!

;)

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Re: uRGENT wARNING ()

Author: Don Berger
Date: 2007-04-02 00:29

Vundbahr, a threat perhaps above? and beyond Global Warm/ning ?? Don

Thanx, Mark, Don

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Re: uRGENT wARNING ()

Author: pewd
Date: 2007-04-02 00:54

wonderful, i forwarded that to some of my students

- Paul Dods
Dallas, Texas

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Re: uRGENT wARNING ()

Author: clockwiser
Date: 2007-04-02 12:13

Pandas do eat bamboo...

but, reeds are made out of so called "music cane"- Arundo Donax.

"Arundo donax is a bamboo-like grass that prefers stream banks and other wet areas."

"Giant reed (Arundo donax), a tall, bamboo-like grass that is naturalized throughout San Diego County. Like certain bamboos, it spreads by underground ..."

I don't think pandas will find a box of Vandoren delicious to eat, no matter how many good reeds there are in the box!

I repeat, they eat bamboo, not reeds.

Pandas are a friendly creature, and they are very human like.

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Re: uRGENT wARNING ()

Author: stevesklar
Date: 2007-04-02 16:28

are there any Pandas in France not in a zoo ?

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Re: uRGENT wARNING ()

Author: tictactux ★2017
Date: 2007-04-02 16:37

> are there any Pandas in France not in a zoo ?

I've seen some on the road last time I was there.

--
Ben

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