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 Re: Clarinet Bulletin Board Poetry Contest
Author: David Spiegelthal ★2017
Date:   2009-03-19 16:36

The clarinet is an illogical beast,
with strange toneholes spread over its body.
And reeds that we use which so often refuse
to play right; plus weak keywork that's shoddy.

Whoever designed it was doing some coke!
Of this I am most certain is true.
Mechanically it's a ridiculous joke
(but then maybe he was sniffing glue?)

The design is a Rube Goldberg mess that's packed dense
with long linkages, small screws and cork;
an acoustical nightmare that makes as much sense
as a cornfield in downtown New York.

The thing shouldn't work, shouldn't make sound at all
like the bumblebee really can't fly!
Yet we still practice hard, then to Carnegie Hall
bring our clarinets, concerts to try.....

In the Book of Lost Causes our instrument must
rank way up towards the top of the list,
still we fret over reeds, playing scales at high speeds,
and the sharps and the flats that we missed.

Why we do this is crazy, I really don't know
what compels us, I'm making no bets!
All I know is that when it is time for the show
we're all out there with our clarinets.
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 Topics Author  Date
 Clarinet Bulletin Board Poetry Contest  new
GBK 2009-03-18 20:42 
 Re: Clarinet Bulletin Board Poetry Contest  new
GBK 2009-03-18 21:12 
 Re: Clarinet Bulletin Board Poetry Contest  new
David Spiegelthal 2009-03-18 21:24 
 Re: Clarinet Bulletin Board Poetry Contest  new
Hank Lehrer 2009-03-18 21:27 
 Re: Clarinet Bulletin Board Poetry Contest  new
David Spiegelthal 2009-03-18 21:33 
 Re: Clarinet Bulletin Board Poetry Contest  new
weberfan 2009-03-18 21:52 
 Re: Clarinet Bulletin Board Poetry Contest  new
Old Geezer 2009-03-18 22:03 
 Re: Clarinet Bulletin Board Poetry Contest  new
Chris J 2009-03-18 21:54 
 Re: Clarinet Bulletin Board Poetry Contest  new
Chris J 2009-03-18 22:37 
 Re: Clarinet Bulletin Board Poetry Contest  new
Chris J 2009-03-18 22:46 
 Re: Clarinet Bulletin Board Poetry Contest  new
kilo 2009-03-18 23:35 
 Re: Clarinet Bulletin Board Poetry Contest  new
clariknight 2009-03-19 00:56 
 Re: Clarinet Bulletin Board Poetry Contest  new
Earl 2009-03-19 04:10 
 Re: Clarinet Bulletin Board Poetry Contest  new
Earl 2009-03-19 04:22 
 Re: Clarinet Bulletin Board Poetry Contest  new
Katrina 2009-03-19 04:27 
 Re: Clarinet Bulletin Board Poetry Contest  new
skygardener 2009-03-19 05:36 
 Re: Clarinet Bulletin Board Poetry Contest  new
Nessie1 2009-03-19 09:04 
 Re: Clarinet Bulletin Board Poetry Contest  new
b.roke 2009-03-19 09:15 
 Re: Clarinet Bulletin Board Poetry Contest  new
rsholmes 2009-03-19 11:01 
 Re: Clarinet Bulletin Board Poetry Contest  new
Paul Globus 2009-03-19 12:32 
 Re: Clarinet Bulletin Board Poetry Contest  new
skygardener 2009-03-19 15:02 
 Re: Clarinet Bulletin Board Poetry Contest  new
Liquorice 2009-03-19 15:35 
 Re: Clarinet Bulletin Board Poetry Contest  new
David Spiegelthal 2009-03-19 16:36 
 Re: Clarinet Bulletin Board Poetry Contest  new
stimsonaa 2009-03-19 22:45 
 Re: Clarinet Bulletin Board Poetry Contest  new
Ed Palanker 2009-03-20 01:50 
 Re: Clarinet Bulletin Board Poetry Contest  new
Neil 2009-03-20 02:48 
 Re: Clarinet Bulletin Board Poetry Contest  new
David Spiegelthal 2009-03-20 02:50 
 Re: Clarinet Bulletin Board Poetry Contest  new
graham 2009-03-20 08:30 
 Re: Clarinet Bulletin Board Poetry Contest  new
huff n' puff 2009-03-20 09:44 
 Re: Clarinet Bulletin Board Poetry Contest  new
chris moffatt 2009-03-20 13:55 
 Re: Clarinet Bulletin Board Poetry Contest  new
clarnibass 2009-03-20 14:45 
 Re: Clarinet Bulletin Board Poetry Contest  new
chris moffatt 2009-03-20 14:52 
 Re: Clarinet Bulletin Board Poetry Contest  new
Katrina 2009-03-21 04:28 
 Re: Clarinet Bulletin Board Poetry Contest  new
Lelia Loban 2009-03-21 12:17 
 Re: Clarinet Bulletin Board Poetry Contest  new
Jack Kissinger 2009-03-21 20:14 
 Re: Clarinet Bulletin Board Poetry Contest  new
Hank Lehrer 2009-03-22 11:24 
 Re: Clarinet Bulletin Board Poetry Contest  new
Don Berger 2009-03-22 15:36 
 Re: Clarinet Bulletin Board Poetry Contest  new
Jack Kissinger 2009-03-23 02:18 
 Re: Clarinet Bulletin Board Poetry Contest  new
Hank Lehrer 2009-03-23 03:01 
 Re: Clarinet Bulletin Board Poetry Contest  new
clarnibass 2009-03-23 04:40 
 Re: Clarinet Bulletin Board Poetry Contest  new
Hank Lehrer 2009-03-23 11:53 
 Re: Clarinet Bulletin Board Poetry Contest  new
GBK 2009-03-24 15:49 
 Re: Clarinet Bulletin Board Poetry Contest  new
Lelia Loban 2009-03-24 15:54 
 Re: Clarinet Bulletin Board Poetry Contest  new
David Spiegelthal 2009-03-24 17:41 
 Re: Clarinet Bulletin Board Poetry Contest  new
Hank Lehrer 2009-03-24 18:04 
 Re: Clarinet Bulletin Board Poetry Contest  new
arundo 2009-03-24 19:30 
 Re: Clarinet Bulletin Board Poetry Contest  new
David Spiegelthal 2009-03-24 20:03 


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