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Klarinet Archive - Posting 000340.txt from 2010/11

From: "Lelia Loban" <>
Subj: [kl] Enhanced Clarinet Vocabulary
Date: Sat, 20 Nov 2010 08:38:26 -0500

Notice how the English language has evolved lately?

Old: Torture
New: Enhanced interrogation technique

Old: sexual molestation
New: enhanced pat-down procedure

Well, my goodness, we clarinet players need to keep up with the times!
Therefore, a modest proposal for updating our old-fashioned vocabulary:

Old: squeak
New: enhanced altissimo

Old: can't read the music
New: uses enhanced aleatory technique

Old: plays out of tune
New: applies enhanced acoustical parameters

I'm sure we can enhance our vocabulary in many other ways!

Lelia Loban

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