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Klarinet Archive - Posting 001152.txt from 2003/06

From: "Lelia Loban" <lelialoban@-----.net>
Subj: [kl] Aliens
Date: Sun, 29 Jun 2003 22:00:16 -0400

Tony Pay wrote,
>....where an advanced alien civilisation had made
>contact with the Earth. For some reason that was
>never made clear, they were limited to explaining
>themselves and their intentions via posts and replies
>on the Klarinet list....

>The main difficulty seemed to be that the leader of the
>aliens called herself Anon, which for some reason made
>several Muggles on the list extremely angry with her posts.
>However, after many strange twists and turns, she was
>advised by Dumbledore to try spelling it backwards, which
>had the most magical effect....

Over a pint at the Hog's Head, the so-called alien later told Professor
Snape that the singer Yma Sumac, a friend she said she met during a most
interesting time travel jaunt, had suggested the alias. She then began an
exceedingly convoluted story that seemed to be leading up to some dire or
even apocalyptic warning about more aliens, speeding toward Earth in a
space ship made entirely of thin slivers of arundo donax glued together
with flobberworm saliva. Other patrons, some in advanced stages of
drunkenness, decrepitude and disguise, began to inch closer and eavesdrop,
as she started to say that these aliens intended to conquer the world by
means of voices so intense and so high-pitched that they could make
Muggles' heads explode. However, before she could get to the really
horrifying part--the part about the queen alien's especially high-pitched
song and what it could do to witches and wizards--Snape, looking bored,
pointed his wand at the "alien" and said, "Riddikulus!"

Poof!

Revealed as a boggart, she no longer scared anybody, and popped off to
wherever boggarts go when they're zapped.

With apologies to J. K. Rowling,
Lelia Loban
E-mail: lelialoban@-----.net
Web site (original music scores as audio or print-out):
http://members.sibeliusmusic.com/LeliaLoban

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