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Klarinet Archive - Posting 000527.txt from 2001/05

From: "Tony Wakefield" <>
Subj: [kl] Bloody and other words.
Date: Tue, 22 May 2001 00:27:02 -0400

"Lacy Schroeder" I've got one for you...

Sooo...we're touring
> the campus, and we're in the chapel. It was about 5:30 (or 17:30 as
> Europeans say!) and I was talking with one of the grad students and a
> there in the sanctuary. I was starving, and I said to the grad student
> was this really cute guy, by the way) "I'm bloody hungry-when are we going
> to eat?" They both looked at me like, well, I can't describe it.

> Lacy Schroeder

I`m loving this - - - - - - I`ve got another one for you too.

My wife and I spent a weekend in Steyning, (pronounced Stenning) Sussex,
where a most wonderfully compressed "old world music shoppe" is housed in
the main street. We were both delving amongst scores, housed on dusty
shelves reaching up to the ceiling. We engrossed ourselves with clarinet,
songs, organ music and C.D`s for up to 15 minutes without seeing anyone
supervising. We probably would have had time to make off with quite a bit of
hot stuff if we had not been so honest! We then heard an organ being played
in the basement. Still no one came to the shop area. So we ventured down
into the basement where we saw a dapper suit, yellow polka dot bow tie,
topped with curly hair seated at a full double manual electronic with full
pedals, suddenly turn round to say,
"Oh bloody hell I`m sorry, I didn`t think anyone would come in at this
time". A typically English eccentric organist practising for his recital in
Chichester Cathedral (we discovered later). We were a little peeved at not
being attended to, but the guy was so original and apologetic that we slowly
came to enter into a most interesting conversation. It moved towards the
internet and I told him that I was downloading music for free from the
American university music libraries. He went berserk and threatened to
physically eject us from the shop. My wife did in fact leave to wait in the
car. I don`t know, (I can`t remember), how I managed to calm him down, but
he eventually invited us in again, made us a cup of tea, and related his
personal problems of drinking and depression to us. By this time we were in
fact listening sympathetically to his story, from some aspect of past
experience. He performs quite regularly in the cathedrals all over the south
of England, and has a little gig in a local pub where we all ended up after
him telling us he had fallen in love with a bar maid. He played keyboards
for 10 minutes, then I would do the same. His love for the bar maid was
unrequited, but he keeps on trying.

He told us a most amusing yet so honest story of when he used to be organist
and choir master at Lancing College on the Sussex Downs. It`s a most awe
inspiring, and enormous school chapel which can be seen from miles away,
having been built on top of Sussex`s rolling expanse of South Downs. During
an important service in which all the wealthy parents were attending, in
addition to the entire school and staff, who should be sitting at the organ
but our dear Charles himself, - a little bit over the top, a little bit
tipsyish, one over the eight shall we say. Sitting in the pub he went on to
tell us that the congregation were not singing at all well. His judgement
then was shall we say a little foolish. He stopped playing the organ
suddenly, after becoming impatient with the wimpish attempt at singing the
hymns, stood on top of his organ stool and bellowed at the top of his voice
to the congregation, "SING UP YOU BASTARDS!". Can you imagine what reaction
that must have brought amongst the parents, staff, chaplains, and pupils.
The whole service completely and utterly destroyed as no one could ever have

Charles no longer is at Lancing College.

Sorry this is not clarinet, but it ain`t `arf amusing ain`t it?

Tony W.

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