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Klarinet Archive - Posting 000256.txt from 2001/02

From: "Jay Webler" <>
Subj: RE: [kl] chaos being sold for freedom...
Date: Thu, 8 Feb 2001 10:13:29 -0500

> At 01:19 AM 2/8/2001 -0500, Jay Webler wrote:

> >The parents can exercise authority all they want, but if it is not backed
> >up in the school you are spitting in the wind, and vice versa.
On 8 Feb 2001, at 6:40, Bill Hausmann wrote:
> My wife is an elementary teacher. All too often she sees exactly the
> OPPOSITE situation. The teacher attempts to exercise authority, but is not
> backed up by the PARENTS, and the administration then caves to the
> parents. I remember what it was like when *I* was a kid. If we got in
> trouble in school, that was only the tip of the iceberg. When we got home
> we would REALLY get it!

In the High School Records of my Oldest Son, now 22, are 3
AWOL reports (Absent without leave). When I asked why they
were never sent to me I was told that they were trying to give him a
break. Upon further investigation I found out that he had skipped
an English Class no less than 10 times, and yet there was
absolutely no attempt made by the teacher to notify me. It was not
a case of failure to get in touch with me, but there was absoulutely
no attempt
made. The only reason I found out about the 3 AWOLS is because
I had reported him on the 3 incedent, when I found out that he told
the school that he had a doctors appointment.

Son number 2, now 20, was in special education classes, because
of ADD and various other problems, governed by federal
regulations. On one particular occasion he got into to serious
trouble while riding on a bus. Upon further investigation I found out
that the same behaviour that was exibited on the bus had been
going on in the class room for over 2 months. (This was confessed
to me by the Principle). When I asked why I wasn't notified, I was
told that I was told that it was because they knew that this kind of
child is known to cause parents a great deal of stress, and they
thought they could handle it themselves, hoping to spare us the

I have a multitude of similar stories.

I'm perfectly aware of the problem that PARENTS cause in today's
education system. But at the same time, we live in a time when
educator's think that they know more than the parents, and in
some cases they may, and they try to assume the responsibility
of telling a parent how to raise the child. Every teacher I had dealt
with in Grade School and Middle School told us that they wished
other parents were as supportive as we were. That's what they told
us to our face, while they were trying to keep us from finding out
what was really going on.

I once viewed the material being used for sex education classes in
the grade school my children were attending. In it the children
were told that they were going to come to an age where they would
become more irritable and angry. They were also told not to
"worry" about it because they would just be going through a
stage called puberty. When I suggested to the teachers that they
were essentially giving license to future teenagers to become little
tyrants without a conscience, I was told, "It's not the children who
have a problem with this course. All my problems come from the

My point is this. There are problems on both sides of the fence
and the children know it. My sons depended upon the fact that I
would not find out what was going on and used it to the hilt. As
long as the children are aware of this they will continually work one
against the other. They are masters at this. I tried for years to
work within this system and I finally gave up.

As I said earlier my last two children are going to a private school
and they are extremely happy about it. My 3rd Child is in
Arkansas going through a co-op program at John Brown University
while finishing up her senior year at a local High School.
Thankfully, it looks as if she will be getting full scholarships that
will enable her to go full time next year.

One final note and then I will get off of my soapbox. I have known
many PARENTS that have diligently sought to raise their children
properly with love and discipline, and yet, they are having difficult
times with their children. Might I suggest that blaming the parents
or the teachers is a bit simplistic. I think the problem runs much
deeper than that. The fact is that most of our parents would have
probably be accused of some type of abuse in today's society; I
know that my mother would have, but somehow we survived. We
live in a day when moral relativism has ruled and we wonder why
the kids are confused and rebellious.

Jay Webler
Jay's Clarinet and Percussion

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