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Klarinet Archive - Posting 000236.txt from 2001/02

From: "Dee D. Hays" <>
Subj: Re: [kl] To Dee - chaos being sold for freedom...
Date: Wed, 7 Feb 2001 22:15:10 -0500

I've read the entire thread with interest and was merely offering a possible
approach to a specific problem that you mentioned. I did not claim it to be
the only solution or the perfect solution. My point was that one should try
prosecuting the offender before suing the school. Threats and bullying are
a form of assault. Assault does not have to be physical to be illegal.
Rather than hold a third party responsible (i.e. the school), hold the
offender responsible. You can call the police and file either an unofficial
or official complaint against this juvenile. Whether his parents want him
or not does not preclude you from taking such action. It does not preclude
the law from prosecuting him if warranted.

After all if the school were to have attempted disciplining this "little
darling," his parents would very probably have been suing the school
instead of you suing. So the school has the choice of being sued or being
sued. Not a pretty picture.

Dee Hays

----- Original Message -----
From: "Doug Benoit" <>
Subject: RE: [kl] To Dee - chaos being sold for freedom...

> As the author of the original seed of this thread, I ask,
> have you read the entire thing? My paragraphs were snipped
> and cut, and not many people will be commenting on the
> entire prose, lousy as my grammar is!
> It's not THAT easy for parents who truly do not want their
> own children in the first place. There are many parents
> who, with poking and prodding, admit to "not wanting" their
> own children, because of some regrets they may have. These
> children are left to fend for themselves, and actually
> develop an enjoyment from making other's lives miserable and
> uneasy. It is there way to get attention or cry for help.
> It's easy to say "do this, and it'll be all overwith."
> These parents dodge their responsiblity as parents
> deliberately, in most cases, and in other cases, simp[ly
> have no clue how to LOVE and RAISE a child. A few parents I
> know, who have NO CLUE, are Universtiy professors (no
> generalizations intended). THese are the worse children
> I've seen in all my life of Upper class families. Three
> families, where both parents are University professors in my
> neighborhood, have children who are sever trouble makers.
> My theory, is that the caretakers and Nanny's are poor
> replacements, and that it's a crying shame that these
> professors brag of their children, and how they are so
> CLUELESS...or GLUELESS, that is the question, Hamlet, sir.
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Dee D. Hays []
> Sent: Wednesday, February 07, 2001 2:12 PM
> To:
> Subject: Re: [kl] chaos being sold for freedom...
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Jim Hobby" <>
> To: <>
> Sent: Wednesday, February 07, 2001 11:47 AM
> Subject: RE: [kl] chaos being sold for freedom...
> > [snip] Unfortunately, the problem is having personal
> ramifications for my
> family.
> > My daughter, her husband, and three children moved in with
> me some six
> > months ago. The boys, in high school, are fine. My
> granddaughter, age
> 11,
> > is having a terrible problem with a bully-boy in her
> class. Little
> physical
> > interaction but some verbal attacks that would have a film
> of the
> situation
> > rated "R". He happens to be the progeny of a
> socially-prominent and
> > politally active family. Neither the teacher nor the
> guidance counselor
> > seem to be able (willing?) to deal with it. Her brothers
> want to go "take
> > care of the problem," which of course we have absolutely
> forbidden. If
> the
> > system doesn't do something positive about the problem, I
> guess I'll have
> to
> > do what I don't want to: Sue the school for allowing a
> hostile school
> > environment to continue. I suppose as distasteful as it
> is, it's better
> > that the alternative.
> >
> > Jim Hobby
> Why not charge the boy with assault for heaven's sake. Put
> the
> responsibility where it belongs, on the boy and his parents.
> Do the
> teachers or guidance counselor have the authority to take
> action? They are
> in a very sticky position. When a student was threatening
> my older
> daughter, we reported them directly to the police. A visit
> to the student
> and their parents by the officer was extremely effective.
> Dee Hays
> ------------------------------------------------------------
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