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Klarinet Archive - Posting 000912.txt from 2000/07

From: Lacy Schroeder <>
Subj: [kl] I know this is totally off-subject!
Date: Wed, 26 Jul 2000 15:15:26 -0400

So I beg forgiveness in advance and will never do it again. BUT, it's soo
funny (if you have a child-like sense of humor like me) that I just had to
share it with all my fellow klarineters out there. So, if you're having a
bad practice session, and need to relieve the stress of bad reeds, editions,
metronome markings, fingers, brain, etc.(I think this is my justification!),
you might find this to be rather cute and funny and an alternative to
smashing reeds against the wall (I call it "adjusting"). I hope Mark doesn't
kick me off for this....I won't do anything off the subject again!! I

Sometimes it's good to get off-subject...gets too deep in here sometimes.

Here goes and I hope nobody gets offended:

"Sometimes when you have a stressful day or week, you need some silliness to
break up the day. Here is your dose...The following is an excerpt from a
children's book, "Captain Underpants and the Perilous Plot of Professor
Poopypants", by Dav Pilkey: The evil Professor forces everyone to assume
new names..."

Use the first letter of your first name to determine your NEW first name:

a = stinky
b = lumpy
c = buttercup
d = gidget
e = crusty
f = greasy
g = fluffy
h = cheeseball
i = chim-chim
j = poopsie
k = flunky
l = booger
m = pinky
n = zippy
o = goober
p = doofus
q = slimy
r = loopy
s = snotty
t = falafel
u = dorkey
v = squeezit
w = oprah
x = skipper
y = dinky
z = zsa-zsa

Use the first letter of your last name to determine the first half of your
NEW last name:

a = diaper
b = toilet
c = giggle
d = bubble
e = girdle
f = barf
g = lizard
h = waffle
i = cootie
j = monkey
k = potty
l = liver
m = banana
n = rhino
o = burger
p = hamster
q = toad
r = gizzard
s = pizza
t = gerbil
u = chicken
v = pickle
w = chuckle
x = tofu
y = gorilla
z = stinker

Use the last letter of your last name to determine the second half of your
NEW last name:

a = head
b = mouth
c = face
d = nose
e = tush
f = breath
g = pants
h = shorts
i = lips
j = honker
k = butt
l = brain
m = tushie
n = chunks
o = hiney
p = biscuits
q = toes
r = buns
s = fanny
t = sniffer
u = sprinkles
v = kisser
w = squirt
x = humperdinck
y = brains
z = juice

Thus, for example, George Bush's new name is Fluffy Toiletshorts. Now when
you forward this..use your new name as the "title of the subject line"

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