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Klarinet Archive - Posting 000009.txt from 2000/04

From: MVinquist@-----.com
Subj: [kl] URGENT WARNING
Date: Sat, 1 Apr 2000 08:12:12 -0500

!!!!!!!!!!!!!Urgent warning to all clarinettists!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BEWARE THE PANDA MENACE

DO NOT BELIEVE THE CHINESE PROPAGANDA

These little buggers may look cute, but they are a deadly menace to the
world's clarinettists. You don't believe me? WHAT DO YOU THINK THEY EAT?

************BAMBOO**********

That's right, they eat the one thing essential for clarinet playing -- the
lifeblood of our profession.

Why do you suppose reeds are so bad these days? BECAUSE THE PANDAS EAT THE
BEST BAMBOO!!!!!!!! How could it possibly be any other reason?

IF PANDAS KEEP EATING BAMBOO, PRETTY SOON THERE WILL BE NO REEDS AT ALL.

Panda worship is NOTHING BUT A CONSPIRACY between the CHINESE and the
selfish PLASTIC REED MAKERS, so that they can RULE THE WORLD. Once the
clarinetists are reedless, what will they turn to next?

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!WAKE UP!!!!!!!!!!!

Join the Crew of the Association for Panda Riddance and Incineration of the
Little Frond-chomping Outrages of Lucifer!!!!!!!!!!!!

Remember -- KILL A PANDA -- SAVE A REED

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