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Klarinet Archive - Posting 000709.txt from 1999/04

From: Jack Kissinger <kissingerjn@-----.EDU>
Subj: Re: [kl] Beta blockers and... Bananas??
Date: Thu, 15 Apr 1999 14:19:47 -0400

In response to the question, "Have you ever seen a calm chimpanzee?" David B.
Niethamer, wrote:

> No, but then I've never seen one at an orchestral audition.

This leads me to the following syllogism which proves (scientifically) that
bananas are useless for stage fright:

Observation: Chimpanzee's eat bananas.

Observation: Chimpanzee's are not calm.

Observation: Chimpanzee's do not audition for orchestral positions.

Conclusion 1: Bananas do not calm chimpanzees at orchestral auditions.

Conclusion 2: Bananas are useless for combatting stage fright.

David's conclusion is somewhat different. Based on the fact that he has never
observed a chimpanzee at an orchestral audition, he concludes:

"This suggests to me that we have the evolutionary model backwards - they're
than we are! ;-) "

I respectfully submit, however, that this cannot be true because so many of them
become conductors. ;^)

Best regards,
Jack Kissinger
St. Louis

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