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Klarinet Archive - Posting 001361.txt from 1998/03

From: JWarren219 <>
Subj: ouch!
Date: Sun, 29 Mar 1998 18:37:46 -0500

Don't you just hate it when this happens?

> This story comes from Larry Long, 2nd bassoon of the Owensboro
> Symphony, who swears it is true. He works as a woodwind repairman at
> Music Central in Bowling Green, KY. Last week a woman called the store
> asking for a repairman. The reconstructed conversation follows:
> Woman: I need a repairman to come out to the house immediately.
> Larry: Well, Ma'am, we don't usually make house calls. Can't you
> bring the Instrument to the shop?
> Woman: No, you don't understand, this is an emergency. My son has
> his penis stuck in his clarinet.
> Larry: Well, Ma'am, what do you expect me to do?
> Woman: I want you to come get it off!
> Larry: Ma'am I'm really sorry but I can't do that. You'll have to call
> 911 or take him to the emergency room.
> Woman: No, you don't understand, I don't want the doctor to hurt the
> clarinet, because it's not paid for yet.
> This is the end of the story as related, but Larry says several
> questions come to mind:
> 1. Which end of the clarinet?
> 2. E-Flat?, B-flat, A, or bass?
> 3. What Is going to happen to this kid the next time that he hears
> a Sousa march?

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