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Klarinet Archive - Posting 000334.txt from 1998/03

From: "Scott M. Gerhardt" <>
Subj: HUMOR: How many list subscribers [...] lightbulb?
Date: Fri, 6 Mar 1998 14:43:17 -0500

The following was forwarded to me from someone on OPERA-L.

As a lurker, my rare postings should perhaps be a little more enlightening, but
I thought y'all might get a kick....

Q: How many list subscribers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 1,331:

1 to change the light bulb and to post to the list that
the light bulb has been changed.

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and
how the light bulb could have been changed differently.

7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.

27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing
light bulbs.

53 to flame the spell checkers

156 to write to the list administrator complaining about
the light bulb discussion and its inappropriateness to this
mail list.

41 to correct spelling in the spelling/grammar flames.

109 to post that this list is not about light bulbs and to please
take this email exchange to alt.lite.bulb

203 to demand that cross posting to alt.grammar, alt.spelling
and alt.punctuation about changing light bulbs be stopped.

111 to defend the posting to this list saying that we all
use light bulbs and therefore the posts **are** relevant
to this mail list.

306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is
superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of
light bulbs work best for this technique, and what brands
are faulty.

27 to post URLs where one can see examples of different
light bulbs

14 to post that the URLs were posted incorrectly, and to
post corrected URLs.

3 to post about links they found from the URLs that are
relevant to this list which makes light bulbs relevant to
this list.

33 to summarize all posts to date, then quote them including
all headers and footers, and then add "Me Too."

12 to post to the list that they are unsubscribing because
they cannot handle the light bulb controversy.

19 to quote the "Me Too's" to say, "Me Three."

4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ.

1 to propose new alt.change.lite.bulb newsgroup.

47 to say this is just what alt.physic.cold_fusion was
meant for, leave it here.

143 votes for alt.lite.bulb.

> A followup was then posted....

You forgot a few:

27 to post in HTML because they are using the IE or Netscape
that had it turned on by default and are too clueless to

48 to complain about the HTML posts

27 to post 'sorry I didn't realize it was on' -- in HTML

96 to complain about more HTML and post detailed instructions
on how to change the setting

58 to mumble something about using a web browser to read mail

12 MIME posts with useless colors and bolds saying thanks
for the help with the HTML mail

1 to post a GIF/JPG of the lightbulb hanging too close to
their digital camera.

1 complaint from the guy using /usr/ucb/Mail who wants to
know what the *=&(%$!= has been going on

58 to complain about the binary post

74 to say they liked the binary and didn't mind it

1 post about how you can MAKE MONEY FAST!!!!! by selling
lightbulbs and this report available for only $5.

1328 to reply to the list with the full spam attached and
then put 'remove' at the end

3 to flame the other morons for replying to the spammer
and CCing the list

1 from the list admin notifying that the list is looking
for a bigger server to handle the load

Scott M. Gerhardt <>
5F 55 E8 3E AA 08 68 9A 58 CA 7C B1 B4 BE 24 B6

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