Klarinet Archive - Posting 000057.txt from 2011/10

From: Jennifer Jones <helen.jennifer@-----.com>
Subj: [kl] Response to Rachel Re: dental question
Date: Tue, 18 Oct 2011 18:11:43 -0400

On Fri, Oct 14, 2011 at 7:19 PM, Rachel Roessel <gsurosey@-----.com> wrote:

> Responding to lots in the long e-mail sent by Jennifer (feel free to
> contact me off-list if you want to talk about stuff further)...
>
> > So, I know there are degradable sutures available. I don't know what
> would be used orally.
>
>
> When my dentist (and a surgeon) took my last wisdom tooth out in January,
> they used the dissolve-able stitches. When I had an infected tooth
> emergently pulled this summer (the molar in front of where the wisdom tooth
> was), that surgeon used stitches that had to be taken out (same practice,
> but this was in the emergency part).
>

I guess I could add that I had some pus produced with one particular
internal vicryl suture. It was a string that stuck out through the surgical
incision when it was closed with staples on the outside. I saw the doctor
about it and he said leave it alone (I am a picker and was trying to squirt
the contents of a mass, like popping a pimple I take great morbid joy in
popping ripe pimples.) Eventually, I realized there was a string sticking
out, so the next project I undertook was to pull the thing out - it was a
millimeter sticking out of the wound and difficult to get a hold of. The
stuff was probably not sifficiently dissolved internally yet also - it took
quite a while, probably three weeks before I got it out. Once the string
was out, the sore cleared up quickly.

> Apparently one wisdom tooth had not developed at the time,
>
> I say that if it's not bothering you, leave it alone. My last wisdom wasn't
> bothering me, but it had a cavity. Since the 2 wisdom teeth I had pulled the
> prior year has cavities and broke so extraction was necessary, I figured
> just pull this one, too. Of course, the last one was the only one that was
> impacted and fused to my jaw. Lucky me.
>

Yeah. That is what the Dr said. He was pointing it out.

> > Thought about trying to find a new dentist,
>
> I don't know what you have for dental insurance (if any). I have
> Medicare/Medicaid (Medicaid covers the dental), and I'm thankful for it.
> Luckily, there's a dental clinic nearby that takes Medicaid (and being full
> of students, they're always learning and applying new techniques and
> procedures). I've had a lot of restorative work done over the past couple of
> years and Medicaid has covered all of it (I have an enamel deficiency, so a
> lot of restorative composite work has come my way). I think I would have a
> stroke if I knew just how much everything I've done would've cost an
> uninsured/underinsured person (I had a visit a couple months ago that
> would've cost $500 just for that day). Between all the composites (and
> having 4 teeth (3 wisdom) pulled over the last 2 years), that's a lot of
> money
>

That is the nightmare. I am having a hard time getting insurance. I
haven't worked for years and have pretty much used up all my savings. But I
am living at home (I never was able to get along very well with other people
outside the family). The hospital has applied for me several times to
Medi-Cal and SSI/SSD and I tried making application myself, but I've been
turned down because I haven't worked enough (5 years and mostly part time)
or because I have too much money. I tried paying a bunch of bills to
qualify and dad got mad at me for spending all that money (I live with them
now). Mom and dad want me to give them the money. They say they will
"shelter" it, but there are all those news stories about how people have
gotten in trouble because of "shelters". I guess mostly public officials
with tax shelters, but I don't know. I am afraid of using the money for
something other than the bills. Though I think I can argue that
psychological counseling or anything that will help with my suicidal issues
or get me back to work would be well spent since that would ostensibly
prevent me landing back in the hospital to incur more debt. The whole thing
scares me. Plus, my parents are abusively telling me to give them the money
and I don't want to give them money under those conditions. In addition, I
have some 300,000 dollars in debt from the car crash surgeries and the one
hospital that did forgive some of the debt did so painfully and also got the
insurance money. I paid a bunch of bills early on, with the hope that I
would be able to get back to work and make payments on the lot, but when I
tried to go back to work, they sent me home because I wasn't moving fast
enough for them. I don't have enough to pay even a tenth of that debt.
Many times, I would like to bury the money and forget that I have it because
it is causing so much stress.

I am frightened of drawing too much on my savings now, because I have my
parents now, you never know what the future is and I am having trouble
interacting with everybody.

The whole thing is a confusing mess and I am having a hard time keeping it
straight.

> > I was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder, or perhaps more like a
> psych(ologist/iatrist) mentioned schizoaffective disorder in passing when I
> went in for evaluation.
>
> Bipolar disorder here.
>

Hey! They say I've got that too. It is rare that I will be up for days on
end though and I had never been up more than 36 hours before I was diagnosed
bipolar. Now I'm at something like 60 hours, with cat naps. That only
happened a couple times. Now I mostly cancel if I haven't slept the night
before. It sucks, because I used to have really good attendance, but with
the aftermath of the car crash, I am letting go of a lot.

> > That was after I said something to the effect of I wasn't psychotic that
> these are means of communication.
>
> What do you mean by that exactly? Do you mean you communicating outwardly,
> or do you mean your body communicating within (the mind-body thing)? I ask
> because I've been told that my seizures are nothing more than my body trying
> to tell my mind something. I'm not sure I buy that completely, but I don't
> have much choice since no one will test me for anything else (multiple EEGs
> and Video EEGs say no abnormal electrical activity, or not enough to warrant
> a diagnosis; there are spikes on my EEG but docs say that's normal; I
> personally don't understand that).
>

I don't understand the mind-body thing. Would you tell me more?

I think of communication on three levels: verbal (written or oral), body
language (gestures etc.) and feelings (you know how happiness etc. can be
contagious...). In my experience, verbal can be, by far, the most precise,
but the others add dimension and can be extremely important as well. This
is communication between different people.

Not sure about going into body communicating with the mind now. Maybe that
was me trying not to be overly concerned with the unerupted, rooted wisdom
tooth that is really close to my other molars.

As far as the communication thing: I had some strange feelings which I
attributed to being caused by people I was interacting with. So, when I
talked about it with the psychologist, she said something to the effect that
it was schizoaffective disorder, and I didn't think there was anything wrong
with me, my automatic response was that those people were trying to
communicate with me. I don't know. I follow a lot of intuition.

Initially these feelings were isolated events, but I started talking to
people about them and asking about them and now it is hard to associate them
with one person or another, because now I will get them when I am alone as
well as in public places in large groups of people. I am beginning to
wonder if there is a sort of inductive coupling of minds and suspect that
there is a such thing as possession. I have an idea of epilepsy being sort
of conflicting spirits in the body or one trying to control ones own body in
opposition to what something else is trying to get you to do. I don't know.

I am not even sure of the exact order the conversation with the psychologist
progressed in. Now that I've written, it seems these events should be
switched.

Psychosis seems to me to be the ability to connect events into a story that
other people can't follow. I mean, if you can't explain your story
convincingly, you get labeled psychotic. I don't know.

This whole thing gives me a heart-burney stomach ache and I think reflux
contributes significantly to tooth decay... Off to take my calcium. I
think I'll chew some gum to keep liquid moving down my esophagus to
counteract the upward movement.

-Jennifer

Rachel
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