Klarinet Archive - Posting 000017.txt from 2011/05

From: "Dan Leeson" <dnleeson@-----.net>
Subj: [kl] For Forest Aten
Date: Wed, 04 May 2011 19:33:50 -0400

I see that the Dallas opera has released is managing poobah. Is there a story behind that?

Opera directors generally don't get released. Instead they are put on a tumbrel, transported to the place of execution, and decapitated. The head is then placed on a pike, and displayed at city hall. That is the most modest punishment available. Drawing and quartering is known to happen for stage directors, but not often enough. Waterboarding has become fashionable.

Showing male and female nudes on the stage is not considered a punishable offense unless the woman is ugly, can't dance, or is unwilling to sing with the head of John the Baptism held tight to her ample bosoms. For male nudes, the punishable offense is should the party stuff a salami in jock.

There should be a pre-natal test for operatic stage directors, and if the infant shows a disposition to become an operatic stage director, abortion is immediately carried out without recourse to any other test.

Dan Leeson
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