Klarinet Archive - Posting 000034.txt from 2011/03

From: fggrillomd@-----.com
Subj: Re: [kl] Youtube
Date: Wed, 09 Mar 2011 14:39:58 -0500

I'm sure this came to the wrong person.

gg

F. Gregory Grillo M.D.
Clinical Nephrology Specialists

-----Original Message-----
From: Kathy Williams-DeVries <kathleenwilliams76@-----.com>
To: klarinet@-----.com
Sent: Wed, Mar 9, 2011 2:17 pm
Subject: [kl] Youtube

Thankful for your comments. Maybe the standard is lower here and exam recital
results mean didly squat, but two of the examiners gave me marks of 95 and 96
respectively for my masters recital and my LTCL mark topped australia and the
examiner said he had never given a mark that high for an LTCL of 96 and I lost
three of those marks because he thought the accompanist's shirt looked shabby.
An examiner who came to one of my concerts last year said he would have passed
me with distinction for an FTCL.

Yes I could be a better player, but I drove myself to a near nervous breakdown
last year when I did my masters recital. But at 35 there is no chance of a
professional career and no reason why I work as hard as I do, as my main
audience are the twenty little old ladies who stay after the service to hear the
concert.

If I get better it is on my own terms. Now, I am my harshest critic, but those
videos I posted are the best I have ever done. Look back among the earlier
versions and yo will understand my point. I have recently become a devotee of
the cellist James Kreger and marvel at his passion and sensitivity.
Unfortunately, though I am quite good technically, I find it hard to draw on my
own emotions because the strong medication I am on for bipolar to keep the
demons locked up also stifle the passion and sensitivity I find in James'
incredible heart stompingly beautiful and soul cleansing music.

Unfortunately, I am very ill at the moment, my Meds are not working, my moods go
from Everest to deep sea trench very quickly and I am surviving on a haze of
Valium and other tranquilizer just so I can make it without doing damage to
myself before I see my shrink today.

Music is my comfort, my joy, my lifeline, my therapy, my greatest love. I only
ask you enjoy it.

Regards Kathy

Sent from my iPad
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