Klarinet Archive - Posting 000033.txt from 2011/03

From: Kathy Williams-DeVries <kathleenwilliams76@-----.com>
Subj: [kl] Youtube
Date: Wed, 09 Mar 2011 14:17:38 -0500

Thankful for your comments. Maybe the standard is lower here and exam recital results mean didly squat, but two of the examiners gave me marks of 95 and 96 respectively for my masters recital and my LTCL mark topped australia and the examiner said he had never given a mark that high for an LTCL of 96 and I lost three of those marks because he thought the accompanist's shirt looked shabby. An examiner who came to one of my concerts last year said he would have passed me with distinction for an FTCL.

Yes I could be a better player, but I drove myself to a near nervous breakdown last year when I did my masters recital. But at 35 there is no chance of a professional career and no reason why I work as hard as I do, as my main audience are the twenty little old ladies who stay after the service to hear the concert.

If I get better it is on my own terms. Now, I am my harshest critic, but those videos I posted are the best I have ever done. Look back among the earlier versions and yo will understand my point. I have recently become a devotee of the cellist James Kreger and marvel at his passion and sensitivity. Unfortunately, though I am quite good technically, I find it hard to draw on my own emotions because the strong medication I am on for bipolar to keep the demons locked up also stifle the passion and sensitivity I find in James' incredible heart stompingly beautiful and soul cleansing music.

Unfortunately, I am very ill at the moment, my Meds are not working, my moods go from Everest to deep sea trench very quickly and I am surviving on a haze of Valium and other tranquilizer just so I can make it without doing damage to myself before I see my shrink today.

Music is my comfort, my joy, my lifeline, my therapy, my greatest love. I only ask you enjoy it.

Regards Kathy

Sent from my iPad
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