Klarinet Archive - Posting 000233.txt from 2011/01

From: "Peter Gentry" <peter.gentry@-----.uk>
Subj: Re: [kl] Food for thought
Date: Fri, 21 Jan 2011 16:31:12 -0500

Absolutely spot on Lelia

> -----Original Message-----
> From: Lelia Loban [mailto:lelialoban@-----.net]
> Sent: Friday, January 21, 2011 8:53 PM
> To: klarinet@-----.com
> Subject: [kl] Food for thought
>
>
> Peter Gentry wrote,
> >I would imagine that all references to Mozart
> >as helping plants grow or students struggle
> >with mathematics are unsupported by reliable
> >observation. They come under the general heading
> > things "they say that" or "it has been proved
> >that" without any foundation whatsoever.
>
> Testing the plant growth theories with acceptable scientific method would
> require laboratory conditions to reduce the many variables such as genetic
> makeup of the plant stock (would have to be cuttings from one parent
> plant,
> and even then you'd get arguments if some but not all of the cuttings came
> from the side that got morning sun...), exact soil composition, time of
> year, time of day, humidity, air temperature, soil temperature, amount of
> water to the roots, amount and type of fertilizer, length of time between
> watering and fertilization, and so forth. Would plants like baroque
> better
> when slightly dry at 11 a.m. and mumblecore better at 11 p.m. after
> overwatering?
>
> Lelia Loban
> http://members.sibeliusmusic.com/Lelia_Loban
>
> ------------------------------
>
> Message: 0.5
> Date: Fri, 21 Jan 2011 03:53:45 -0800 (EST)
> From: Jane Feline <janefeline@-----.org>
> Subject: [kl] Food for thought
> To: klarinet@-----.com
> Message-ID: <666.666.666devilcatfromhell>
> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=iso-sss666
>
> Jane Feline here, borrowing Lelia's brain for a moment. I'm sure she
> won't
> mind. She doesn't seem to be using much of it. Now then, before I was
> born
> last year, Professor Shadow Cat assured me, in the mandatory Afterlife
> Kitten Classes, that the clarinet (she called it a screech-stick) was a
> tool
> of the Vacuum Cleaner Demon and that it would attract rats and mice. When
> the humans from this house went to the Animal Shelter, aka the Jail, where
> I
> was an inmate, I flirted with them shamelessly, not in spite of Prof.
> Shadow
> Cat's warning but because of it. I had hoped the clarinet would give me
> access to large numbers of delicious rodents.
>
> Sure enough, these humans she'd warned me against brought me home, but the
> fact is, Lelia practices her clarinet frequently and yet I haven't seen
> even
> one rat or mouse in here! How disappointing! I don't miss having to
> dodge
> the dogs and the coyotes and the foxes, don't get me wrong - I much prefer
> living in a house with human servants to do my bidding - But I've missed
> the
> yummy wild rodents since my days of wandering around on a construction
> site.
> I'd like to chase and kill a fat rat now and then, or some of those tasty
> little cockroaches and grubs and things.
>
> Prof. Shadow Cat disdained eating what she called vermin, but I don't see
> why. She must've been a food snob in the breathing world. I'm more of a
> gourmet, meaning I'll eat anything that doesn't eat me first. I don't
> know
> why the humans wouldn't let me sample the sawdust or metal shavings during
> the recent construction. The metal shavings in particular looked as if
> they'd make a lovely garnish. But I digress.
>
> Screech-stick, my tail-fur - the clarinet yowls beautifully and I like to
> stick my head right up the bell. It hasn't hurt me a bit and as for it
> inviting the Garbage Truck Devil into the house: nonsense. The Garbage
> Truck couldn't fit through any of the doors. And the Vacuum Cleaner is no
> demon at all. It's a mechanical object, a tool, an inanimate object, and
> when connected to an electrical socket, it makes the most thrilling rattle
> and howl and rumble! I like to ride around on it. But none of these
> tools
> attracts rats or mice, and that's a fact. Ms. Shadow Cat pretended to be
> such an authority, and yet as far as I can make out, she had no empirical
> evidence for any of these assertions. Either she'd succumbed to rumor and
> superstition or she was a pedantic old liar! I meowed so in plain Feline
> last year and got myself expelled without completing the class, and a good
> thing, too - what a bore those classes were. So as far as I'm concerned,
> anything anybody says about clarinets might be rubbish.
>
> Prrrrt!
> Jane Feline
>
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