Klarinet Archive - Posting 000342.txt from 2010/11

From: hns692@-----.com
Subj: Re: [kl] Enhanced Clarinet Vocabulary
Date: Sat, 20 Nov 2010 09:03:44 -0500


Very Good!!

Lee Ann Hansen

In a message dated 11/20/2010 7:38:24 A.M. Central Standard Time,
lelialoban@-----.net writes:

Notice how the English language has evolved lately?

Old: Torture
New: Enhanced interrogation technique

Old: sexual molestation
New: enhanced pat-down procedure

Well, my goodness, we clarinet players need to keep up with the times!
Therefore, a modest proposal for updating our old-fashioned vocabulary:

Old: squeak
New: enhanced altissimo

Old: can't read the music
New: uses enhanced aleatory technique

Old: plays out of tune
New: applies enhanced acoustical parameters

I'm sure we can enhance our vocabulary in many other ways!

Lelia Loban
http://members.sibeliusmusic.com/Lelia_Loban

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