Klarinet Archive - Posting 000340.txt from 2010/11
From: "Lelia Loban" <lelialoban@-----.net> Subj: [kl] Enhanced Clarinet Vocabulary Date: Sat, 20 Nov 2010 08:38:26 -0500
Notice how the English language has evolved lately?
Old: Torture
New: Enhanced interrogation technique
Old: sexual molestation
New: enhanced pat-down procedure
Well, my goodness, we clarinet players need to keep up with the times!
Therefore, a modest proposal for updating our old-fashioned vocabulary:
Old: squeak
New: enhanced altissimo
Old: can't read the music
New: uses enhanced aleatory technique
Old: plays out of tune
New: applies enhanced acoustical parameters
I'm sure we can enhance our vocabulary in many other ways!
Lelia Loban
http://members.sibeliusmusic.com/Lelia_Loban
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