Klarinet Archive - Posting 000255.txt from 2010/06

From: "Williams, Kathy" <Kathy.Williams@-----.com>
Subj: [kl] More on music vs sport
Date: Sun, 27 Jun 2010 23:33:57 -0400

Noel,

The following point you made had me thinking last night...
Of course, there is in sport the additional imperative to win. In musical improvisation that can be counter-productive, sometimes, leading to a fruitless grandstanding.

If I may draw from personal exprerience here, when I was an undergrad student, I was extremely competitive, as were most of us at the time I think, and yes, I think at the time the music did suffer. As someone who suffers from critically low self esteem, even now, it was much worse back then, to the extent that my performances were less about the music I was playing and more about how brilliant I was and that the audience should love me because of it. I'm sure I would not be the only one. I had to stand out, and in the context of larger ensembles, this led to a lot of energy sapping grandstanding. Energy which could have been better spent on learning the notes and playing beautifully. Only when I gave away the dream of being a professional player and got married, (and on medication), did I relinquish those ideas, and now see music purely as a source of enjoyment and a healthy respite from working in an office. In fact, my music is so healthily grounded, that now my therapist has suggested I apply the joy I find in music making to other parts of my life... What's more, I believe I am playing a lot better now than in my student days, and my tone is certainly more liquid. It will be interesting to see if anything changes now I am embarking on a Masters.

I believe my story is not unique, I'm sure there are many many other student musicians out there that are crippling themselves mentally in the same way I did, to the extent that by the end of my study at the Royal College of Music London, I could not play at all, physically and mentally, thereby scotching what could have been a promising career.

Any further ideas, thoughts?

Kind regards

Kathy Williams
Customer Service Delivery Consultant
Customer Service Delivery
Customer Care, Telstra Enterprise and Government
Telstra Corporation Limited 1800 025 222

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