Klarinet Archive - Posting 000103.txt from 2007/01

From: "Bruce M" <bmcgar@-----.com>
Subj: RE: [kl] music students
Date: Fri, 12 Jan 2007 10:18:57 -0500


I didn't say that kids need psychotherapists or that I "do" psychotherapy
with my students, as if they're patients, and as if psychotherapy is a set
of tricks, I said that I'm a trained psychotherapist. Also, I take exception
to your phrase "therapy or any other gimmicks."

Yes, I will tell you about the particular transition I'm talking about, the
transition between physical and psychological childhood and physical and
psychological adulthood. The physical transition ranges from about 11
through 17, with the associated estrogen and testosterone poisoning that
makes this time "blooming, buzzing confusion" for many teens. The transition
to psychological adulthood--self-direction and a sense of personal
responsibility being parts of that maturation--usually happens
eventually...but sometimes never (as occasionally evidenced even in this
list, in some of the flame wars that happen).

B.

>From: "sarah elbaz" <sarah@-----.com>
>Reply-To: klarinet@-----.org
>To: klarinet@-----.org
>Subject: RE: [kl] music students
>Date: Fri, 12 Jan 2007 10:11:15 +0000
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>
>Nicholas,
>
>This is a problem that every music teacher has to deal with and I would
>like to ofer you a strategy and not a solution.
>But first I would like to refer to some things that Bruce wrote:
>I do not think that a clarinet teacher should be a psychotherapist or a
>scocial worker, a clarinet teacher should be "ONLY" a clarinet teacher and
>a musician. If the child needs therapy he should get it somewhere else.
>And more that that- using therapy or any other "gimmickes" to make student
>practice is wrong: they shlould learn to work and music is exciting enough
>to make them work.
>
>" Students in this age are in transition" : Is there an age when we are not
>in transition? please tell me when it is Bruce , I will be happy to know !
>
>I will write more soon, my student just finnished worming up...
>Sarah
>
>
>
> > -------Original Message-------
> > From: Bruce M <bmcgar@-----.com>
> > Subject: RE: [kl] music students
> > Sent: 12 Jan '07 07:08
> >
> > Nicholas,
> >
> > I teach privately and also tutor the clarinet sections of the local
>high
> > school bands, and I've taught at a private school for so-called
>"learning
> > disabled" kids (read "lazy," in most cases), so I've had experience
>with the
> > same things.
> >
> > I, too, used to get frustrated, until I realized a few things. (By the
>way,
> > though I'm trained as a psychotherapist, I have no quick fixes, so if
>you're
> > out to change THEIR behavior, read no further. You can only change your
> > own.)
> >
> > - Students at this age are in transition. What is important to them now
>may
> > not be important to them tomorrow. My job is to keep them playing until
>the
> > desire "takes," which usually happens in their senior year, sometimes
>later.
> >
> > - Thanks to MY generation, children nowadays are coddled and spoon fed
>even
> > through four years of college. They want easy answers and quick fixes
> > because parents have always been there to provide these. You, as a
>teacher,
> > are not going to be able to change this behavior. Simply, you're not
>with
> > them enough to change it, and even if you could change it, you probably
> > don't have the energy it would take to put up with the sturm und drang
>that
> > trying to change a whole gaggle of students would require. Develop "the
> > serenity of mind to accept that which cannot be changed, the courage to
> > change that which can be changed, the wisdom to know the one from the
> > other."
> >
> > - Why should they find out things on their own when they can get quick
> > answers for just about anything from most teachers and parents--or the
> > internet? Work isn't considered a virtue anymore anyway, and the
>completion
> > of work doesn't bring the satisfaction for them that it does with us
>older
> > people. Is it any wonder that they get wide-eyed and incredulous when
>it's
> > suggested to them that they dig for something themselves, when
>everything
> > has been provided for them on a silver plate? Can this be changed?
>Maybe,
> > but not by you: not enough time, not a close enough relationship.
> >
> > Things are different when you're dealing with college performance
>majors or
> > kids who really are into playing and have ambition. But the standard
> > kid--the one who will never become the next Morales, and doesn't
>necessarily
> > want to--is a different animal. Are your goals for them unrealistic?
>Can you
> > accept the fact that most don't really care enough, at this stage of
>their
> > lives, to really put for the effort it takes to improve their playing?
> >
> > What I try to do is just keep them playing in hopes that, in later
>years,
> > they'll be good enough to want to keep playing throughout life; to play
>in
> > their college bands, and then later in their community orchestras; to
>help
> > them acquire something that will enrich their lives later on, even if
>they
> > don't realize that it does now.
> >
> > When a kid doesn't practice, I just tell 'em they're not going to get
>better
> > unless they do, but I don't make a big thing about it. I tell them that
> > their parents' forty bucks can be spent working on lessons or just
>playing
> > duets, but that I'm not going to suffer if they don't get better--I
>still
> > have their money--so if they come unprepared, it's their problem, not
>mine.
> > If they ask for a quick fix--one that they could figure out on their
>own
> > with a little effort--I just refuse to provide it.
> >
> > One of the striking things about teens is how little sense of
> > self-responsibility they have. They don't seem to understand that, if
>they
> > fail or screw up, ULTIMATELY, the world goes right on. Their parents
>will be
> > disappointed, but they'll live. Their friends will go on with their
>lives.
> > Their teachers will have a new batch of students a year down the line.
>What
> > they do or don't do to improve themselves ultimately only affects them.
> > (This is another lesson I try to teach my students AND their parents.)
>By
> > impressing this on them, I'm trying to get the kids to take ownership
>of
> > what they do or don't do, and you'd be surprise how, when a kid gets
>that
> > message, their sense of power increases and their willingness to be
> > self-directed strengthens.
> >
> > Some kids will tank on you, for sure. But most (in my experience), if
>kept
> > playing, will improve and persist, even if they don't practice as much
>as
> > we'd like. If you can keep them going until graduation, I think that
> > eventually it dawns on them that the skills they've acquired can be
>used
> > forever, long after their too creaky to play soccer or too busted up to
>play
> > football.
> >
> > (Sorry about the rambling, but many things come to mind.)
> >
> > Well, so much for my palaver. Get your reward from the knowledge that
>you've
> > kept them playing for yet another week, even if it means running
>through
> > duets every session. Don't get your shorts in a half-hitch when they
>fail to
> > meet your expectations. Give all you can to those who want it and will
>run
> > with it, but don't "down" the kids who seem helpless cases.
> >
> > Keep 'em involved, at some level, for as long as possible. Eventually,
>most
> > will get it, even if you're not around when they do.
> >
> > Cheers.
> >
> > Bruce
> >
> >
> >
> > >From: "Nicholas Yip" <clarinets21@-----.com>
> > >Reply-To: klarinet@-----.org
> > >To: klarinet@-----.org
> > >Subject: [kl] music students Date: Thu, 11 Jan 2007 20:45:23 -0800
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> > >
> > >
> > >Hi,
> > >
> > >I remember a number of years ago I was spoonfed and coddled. Now I am
>on
> > >the other side of the ball and am the teacher of music students. I am
>in my
> > >second year at a high school as a director of bands. I also currently
>run a
> > >studio with mostly high school students in clarinet.
> > >
> > >Both in my classes and studio a number of my students so several
>things;
> > >
> > >1) They come in unprepared for lessons.
> > >
> > >2) They look for the quick fix
> > >
> > >3) They often ask questions of things they can figure on their own.
> > >
> > >One of my studio students has been through 4 different clarinet
>teachers in
> > >5 years.
> > >
> > >I need some help. I have tried training some learning skills,
>consistently,
> > >but they seem to go back to old learning habits.
> > >
> > >Nicholas Yip
> > >Clarinetist and Music Teacher
> > >
> > >Your Hotmail address already works to sign into Windows Live
>Messenger! Get
> > >it now
> >
> >http://clk.atdmt.com/MSN/go/msnnkwme0020000001msn/direct/01/?href=http://get.live.com/messenger/overview
> > >
> > >
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> >
> > From photos to predictions, The MSN Entertainment Guide to Golden
>Globes has
> > it all. http://tv.msn.com/tv/globes2007/?icid=nctagline1
> >
> >
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