Klarinet Archive - Posting 000278.txt from 2005/03

From: "Kevin Fay" <kevinfay@-----.com>
Subj: RE: [kl] excessive amplification
Date: Tue, 8 Mar 2005 01:29:59 -0500

Ellis Johnson posted:

<<<The drummer in my big band plays incredibly loud and we can't hear the
rest of the rhythm section for the changes. Unfortunately, he is a good
friend of the leader of the band so we cant can him. No matter how many
times we tell him that hes too loud, he does nothing.>>>

Old joke, but a good one.

When Dexter Gordon died, he was transported to the pearly gates, issued a
pair of wings and, in lieu of a harp, a heavenly Selmer tenor saxophone.
With a perfect reed that worked perfectly (remember, this is paradise).
After warming up with a few choice riffs, Saint Peter told him to hurry up -
he'd be just in time for the first set at the Paradise Lounge.

So he shows up, and it turns out that he's booked with some amazing cats.
Johnny Hodges playing lead alto, Cat Anderson splitting lead with Gabriel,
Duke and Prez and Count and . . . well, a simply amazing band.

The first set was full of fantastic charts. The angels in the audience all
applauded mightily.

. . and then a strikingly beautiful angel strode up to the mike, for the
Girl Singer Number. And was absolutely, monstrously hideous. Terrible,
warbling off key horribly.

Long tall Dex couldn't believe his ears - the show had been going so well!
He leaned over to Harry Carney and asked, "Hey Harry, what's with the gal?
Can't they find a decent singer in Heaven, like Ella or Sarah or Dinah?
What's the deal?

Harry sighed heavily. "Nothing we can do" he muttered, "God's girlfriend."

kjf

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