Klarinet Archive - Posting 000475.txt from 2004/11
From: orm1ondtoby@-----.net (Ormondtoby Montoya)
Subj: Re: [kl] Trust
Date: Fri, 12 Nov 2004 20:02:39 -0500
Tony, speaking for myself and not attempting to speak for anyone else, I
have recommended that some _education_ is mandatory in this case.
Trust is not possible if people don't have confidence in what they can
expect. Trust is not possible if all parties don't believe that there
is a reasonable definition for what to expect. Trust is not possible
all parties don't peceive that the largest portion of their society
agree on this definition.
So far, I have not seen a post on Klarinet that any adult has undertaken
to educate the children involved. The only description of the school
staff's response that I've seen was "God will take care of this" ---
which in my opinion is a total "cop out" and insulting to any decent
religion.
I posted once before, and I'll repeat again, that education usually is
*not* best accomplished by either punishent or condemnation. Nor does
education necessarily mean an intense or extended interrogation with
raised voice or display of power.
But (so far) one unassailable fact remains. Property was taken without
permission or notification. It must be explained to the children ---
and the children must believe that the explanation is sincere and
appropriate --- that private property is to be respected.
I mentioned previously that context is quite important.
Let's suppose that you and I were backstage, and I saw you walking off
with my clarinet. Since I know you by sight, and since I know you are
a performer with considerable stature and reputation, I am not going to
scream "STOP THAT MAN! HE'S STEALING MY CLARINET!" I'm going to
assume that you have a valid reason for picking up my clarinet.
Perhaps you're worried that someone else will steal it because it's
laying on a chair unattended. Or perhaps you want to play it yourself.
Or perhaps you honestly mistook it for your own instrument and will
search for the true owner as soon as you realze that it isn't yours.
All of these possibilities would occur to me, and I wouldn't scream for
the polce.
On the other hand, if I didn't recognize you, or if you were wearing a
trenchcoat and hiding your face and you looked sneaky, or if I hadn't
seen who picked up my clarinet in the first place, I would be
considerably more nervous and I would respond more vigorously.
So.... exactly what was the situation with Kathy's daughter (and with
Kathy when she heard about it)? The context makes a huge difference.
Kathy's daughter may not have know many of the children in the area.
Perhaps Kathy's daughter may not have even known whether all the nearby
children were band students.
Depending on such details, trust can be foolish or trust can be
justified. In order for trust to be justified, everyone needs to feel
that basic respect for property is accepted by everyone else. Such
belief seems (so far) to be absent because no adult or school staff has
attempted to explain it to all the childen.
Once again, IMO, this must be done.
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