Klarinet Archive - Posting 000444.txt from 2004/11
From: <cjarrett1@-----.com> Subj: Re: [kl] Clarinets - Identification markings etc., Date: Thu, 11 Nov 2004 21:29:55 -0500
What do you mean it's none of her mother's business?
If it were my child, or one of my students' not only would the situation be
resolved, the offender would never ever pull such a stunt.
----- Original Message -----
From: "Patricia A. Smith" <arlyss1@-----.net>
To: <klarinet@-----.org>
Sent: Thursday, November 11, 2004 10:07 AM
Subject: Re: [kl] Clarinets - Identification markings etc.,
Tony Pay wrote:
>The goal here is actually to have Kathy's daughter ...overcome the
>unfortunate incident in a way that doesn't damage her confidence in her
>playing in the band, including a resolution of her possible
>worry that her instrument might disappear unexpectedly. It's also to have
>her resolve her relationship with the person who 'borrowed' her instrument.
>
>The whole situation is actually none of her mother's business, except
>insofar as she can help to enable the above.
>
>How is it that you, an educator, don't understand that?
>
>Tony
Without casting any aspersions on Adam, or other educators on the list,
as well as not wishing to cast aspersions on the mother of the child in
question, I can speak to the question you ask at the end, Tony.
I agree with you; objectivly, at the age said child is, she should be
responsible for her own instrument, and the mother's role should be as
you outlined in your post. However, it has been my own experience that
some parents relinquish particular types of responsibility to their
children on different timelines than others do. The educator who is
skilled at parent relations and with bands, realizes that relating to
parents also means you don't want to alienate these people who help
administer your program, and many times obtain anywhere from ¼ to even ½
of your funding in some cases! So, the band director, while s/he may
feel that the situation should basically be resolved by the students,
and feels his role is a minimum one, must also negotiate the situation
with the parent in such a way that the parent is satisfied that it is a
good situation for his/her child, while not appearing to students OR to
other parents to be relinquishing control of his band.
I know this may appear to be overstating the case a bit, but I have
noticed that there is a certain amount of territoriality when it comes
to parents, teachers, students, and the culture of the public school, in
the United States. Now, in the United Kingdom, your school culture,
public and private) appears to be quite different to ours (I personally
would add, I think we here could learn a great deal by observing various
situations in the UK and in other schools worldwide, but again, I
digress). Each society has norms for relations between parents, the
school, and students, which are adhered to more or less; from what I've
gathered so far, I do believe we here in the U.S., do tend to educate
our youth more in reactionary mode than proactionary mode. However,
again, I am exceeding the scope of this list, and I apologize for that.
Patricia Smith
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