Klarinet Archive - Posting 000443.txt from 2004/11

From: <cjarrett1@-----.com>
Subj: Re: [kl] Clarinets - Identification markings etc.
Date: Thu, 11 Nov 2004 21:25:35 -0500

Here Here. Great response. Well put.
----- Original Message -----
From: "kimi" <kimi_kimy@-----.com>
To: <klarinet@-----.org>
Sent: Thursday, November 11, 2004 6:26 PM
Subject: Re: [kl] Clarinets - Identification markings etc.

> Geez Lelia I can't believe what you wrote down below.
> YOu just basically said enough to make me look like
> some kind of monster parent. I should never had
> posted my questions here. You people are unbelievable
> and you don't know me enough to make the judgements
> you just have made. I'm offended at how thoughtless
> you are at what i originally posted about.
>
> Yes my daughters clarinet piece was taken.
>
> NO that kid DID NOT ASK, she was SNEAKY in doing it,
> she did NOT tell band director her own instrument was
> BROKEN, but instead to anothers. How can you say or
> even imply that is ok.
>
> I thought by posting here just to get advice on ways
> to make sure this doesn't happen again I'd get some
> good advice, and some people did, but others decided
> to rip a mother into whatever it is you think of her
> instead of realizing that me and my daughter have an
> excellent relationship, as well as her being confident
> in who she is, and she had EVERY RIGHT to come tell me
> before she told the band director! I don't believe
> that I cryed wolf or anything else. Since when is
> taking other peoples things an ok thing to do and
> reported said perpetrator to get said item a crime?
>
> So Screw you Lelia!
> K
> --- Lelia Loban <lelialoban@-----.net> wrote:
>
>>
>> Patricia Smith wrote,
>> > This sort of thing is a type of "advocacy for our
>> > children" that is all too often overshadowed by
>> > negative stereotypes of "stage mothers",
>> > which is too bad. Supportive parents can make
>> > every difference in the world to plenty of
>> children.
>>
>> True, but stage mommies invariably do believe
>> they're only being
>> supportive. The parent needs to pay attention if
>> the criticisms come
>> often, from a variety of sources independent of each
>> other.
>>
>> Joseph Wakeling wrote,
>> >All you know is that first of all he
>> [the band director]
>> >had students help to look for the clarinet
>> >part, and second that Kathy *felt* he was
>> >nonchalant once the clarinet part had been found.
>> >
>> >Now, it's unfortunate that Kathy feels that, but
>> >it doesn't necessarily mean that the band director
>> >acted in a bad or inappropriate way.
>>
>> Yes. Kids that age are work in progress and it
>> sounds to me as if progress
>> happened, since the student who took part of the
>> clarinet admitted what
>> she'd done and returned the property. I wonder if
>> the band director might
>> have seemed nonchalant just because he needed to
>> calm down a parent who's
>> obviously protective and intensely involved with her
>> child -- a parent who
>> doesn't seem like some stage mommy monster, but
>> nonetheless may be hovering
>> around the school a little bit too much. I think
>> the band director was
>> right not to interrogate or chastize a student in
>> front of an upset
>> classmate, her irate mother and any band room
>> busybodies lurking to pick up
>> the gossip.
>>
>> Public humiliation can backfire and lead, not to
>> reform, but to hostility
>> and defiance: "If I'm already tried and convicted, I
>> can't win no matter
>> how nice I act, so the hell with you and your
>> rules!" The next step is
>> often revenge against the perceived tattletale.
>>
>> A wise teacher will question the borrower or thief
>> in a quiet, more
>> private environment, such as the guidance
>> counsellor's office, with the
>> counsellor present as a witness and also as someone
>> trained to encourage a
>> student to be honest and to listen. Probably the
>> kid only did something
>> childish, selfish and thoughtless, but it's also
>> possible that she has a
>> general unawareness of other people's boundaries --
>> or she may even be a
>> budding kleptomaniac. The school has a
>> responsibility not just to punish,
>> to satisfy an aggrieved accuser, but to counsel that
>> girl, without
>> distractions, when she's calm enough to *absorb* the
>> lesson that she
>> mustn't borrow other people's property without
>> permission.
>>
>> I've lost track of who wrote this:
>> > You'd do well to avoid it being stolen, sure.
>> But,
>> > how valuable is a plastic Yamaha, if you're trying
>>
>> >to sell it? Is it really likely that, in the
>> normal
>> > course of events, someone will go out of their way
>> > to steal it?
>>
>> Alas, yes. Theft of musical instruments is common
>> in American public
>> schools. My local newspaper's weekly Crime Report
>> lists several thefts of
>> musical instruments from city schools every year,
>> and that's in a
>> reasonably orderly town of only two square miles.
>> The report almost always
>> identifies some inexpensive student brand, not
>> surprisingly, because that's
>> what children own. It seems that often, these are
>> crimes of opportunity:
>> the owner forgets the instrument at the bus stop and
>> somebody else, who may
>> know nothing about music but hopes to get lucky with
>> a valuable, saleable
>> item, takes it home. "Valuable," by a child's
>> standards, might be twenty
>> bucks or a few pills, from an older kid who knows
>> the friendly neighborhood
>> fence. However, theft of a *section* of an
>> instrument would be unusual,
>> wouldn't it? The fact that the girl didn't take the
>> whole clarinet
>> supports her version of what happened, imho.
>>
>> >>If students are permitted to carry backpacks
>> between
>> >>classes ( shockingly enough to some people, there
>> are schools
>> >>where they are not - gee, is that Osama bin Laden
>> in your
>> >>bookbag, Jonny?) she could simply stash the
>> horn-in-case in
>> >>the backpack & continue on her merry way.
>>
>> Guard: Gee, is that Osama bin Laden in your
>> bookbag, Jonny?
>> Jonny: No, it's the crack cocaine I sell at lunch.
>> Careful with my gun.
>> I sometimes forget to use the safety catch.
>>
>> The Case of the Missing Clarinet Part can be a good,
>> teachable moment for a
>> child as she grows toward more independence. Did
>> she try to Sherlock the
>> disappearance *before* she involved an adult? Did
>> she ask the band
>> director for help *before* she went running to Mom?
>> For Mom to confront a
>> teacher makes a reasonable last resort, but a
>> healthy, independent,
>> confident kid will want to crawl away to die of
>> embarrassment over a scene
>> like that. (Are her classmates chanting,
>> "Tittle-tattle baby rattle," yet?)
>>
>> Similarly, a justifiably concerned mother doesn't
>> need a reputation as an
>> alarmist who over-reacts or cries wolf. She can
>> help her child to earn a
>> reputation as a level-headed Liz, not a Tizzie the
>> tattletale or a Carrie
>> the crybaby, whose constant complaints get dismissed
>> as hysteria. The
>> sooner the child develops a sense of proportion
>> (knows the difference
>> between a crime and a nuisance) and learns to sort
>> out her schoolmates
>> without help most of the time (though preferably not
>> by whopping a thief
>> upside the head two or five times with the clarinet
>> case, of course), the
>> more likely it is that school authorities will take
>> any parental complaint
>> seriously and act quickly if, some time in the
>> future, it's necessary to
>> report Piggy Pederast, Dopey Drugmeister, Bluto
>> Bully, or Mopsy Murderess.
>> (Anybody who thinks there's nobody like them in
>> *our* schools needs to wake
>> up and smell the meth lab.)
>>
>> Lelia Loban
>> Defend science. Defend the truth.
>> Defeat superstition. Defeat lies.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>
>
> =====
>
> http://profiles.yahoo.com/kimi_kimy
> Touch the Mind, Kiss the Heart, Embrace the Soul, Live, Laugh, Love!
>
> He says that she says that you say that i said that this person says
>
> Never put your faith in people, you may be disappointed
>
> I tried to kill the pain,
> But only brought more,
> (so much more)
> I'm dying
> And I'm pouring, crimson regret, and betrayal.
>
> I'm dying, Praying, Bleeding, Screaming,
> Am I too lost to be saved?
> Am I too lost?
>
> My wounds cry for the grave,
> My soul cries for deliverance,
> Will I be denied?
> Christ! tourniquet! suicide.
>
> Evanescence
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> www.yahoo.com
>
>
>
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