Klarinet Archive - Posting 000421.txt from 2004/11

From: "Patricia A. Smith" <arlyss1@-----.net>
Subj: Re: [kl] Clarinets - Identification markings etc.,
Date: Thu, 11 Nov 2004 11:10:54 -0500

Tony Pay wrote:

>The goal here is actually to have Kathy's daughter ...overcome the unfor=
tunate incident in a way that doesn't damage her confidence in her playin=
g in the band, including a resolution of her possible
>worry that her instrument might disappear unexpectedly. It's also to ha=
ve her resolve her relationship with the person who 'borrowed' her instru=
ment.
>
>The whole situation is actually none of her mother's business, except in=
sofar as she can help to enable the above.
>
>How is it that you, an educator, don't understand that?
>
>Tony=20
> =20
>

Without casting any aspersions on Adam, or other educators on the list,=20
as well as not wishing to cast aspersions on the mother of the child in=20
question, I can speak to the question you ask at the end, Tony.=20

I agree with you; objectivly, at the age said child is, she should be=20
responsible for her own instrument, and the mother's role should be as=20
you outlined in your post. However, it has been my own experience that=20
some parents relinquish particular types of responsibility to their=20
children on different timelines than others do. The educator who is=20
skilled at parent relations and with bands, realizes that relating to=20
parents also means you don't want to alienate these people who help=20
administer your program, and many times obtain anywhere from =BC to even =
=BD=20
of your funding in some cases! So, the band director, while s/he may=20
feel that the situation should basically be resolved by the students,=20
and feels his role is a minimum one, must also negotiate the situation=20
with the parent in such a way that the parent is satisfied that it is a=20
good situation for his/her child, while not appearing to students OR to=20
other parents to be relinquishing control of his band.

I know this may appear to be overstating the case a bit, but I have=20
noticed that there is a certain amount of territoriality when it comes=20
to parents, teachers, students, and the culture of the public school, in =

the United States. Now, in the United Kingdom, your school culture,=20
public and private) appears to be quite different to ours (I personally=20
would add, I think we here could learn a great deal by observing various =

situations in the UK and in other schools worldwide, but again, I=20
digress). Each society has norms for relations between parents, the=20
school, and students, which are adhered to more or less; from what I've=20
gathered so far, I do believe we here in the U.S., do tend to educate=20
our youth more in reactionary mode than proactionary mode. However,=20
again, I am exceeding the scope of this list, and I apologize for that.

Patricia Smith

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