Klarinet Archive - Posting 000411.txt from 2004/11

From: Joseph Wakeling <joseph.wakeling@-----.net>
Subj: Re: [kl] Clarinets - Identification markings ect.,
Date: Wed, 10 Nov 2004 19:26:22 -0500

kimi wrote:

> 1. She did NOT ask!!! Key word there
> 2. I consider that stealing

Hmm. I would say "I consider that *thoughtless*". From what I remember
of my days at school it's the sort of stupid thing someone might do when
they weren't really thinking, particularly if they're desperate ("I
really HAVE to be at this rehearsal!" etc.). The thing is---the girl in
question clearly didn't mean to keep it, and it sounds like she was
really embarassed that your daughter even realised it was missing. I
think that's taught her a bigger lesson than anything the band director
could do!

Which is not to say it's "no big deal". But it is to say that the best
way forward may not to be to burn this girl at the stake! ;-)

> 3. Some may view this as no big deal just as the band director did. He
> never chastised her in front of me and my daughter when the girl came
> up and owned up to having the piece and giving it back to us.

Yep, but that sort of public chastisement is terribly humiliating for
the student on the receiving end, and may actually be
counter-productive. Some teachers really don't like humiliating
students in that way, which personally I think is a very good thing
(though obviously infuriating if you're mad at the student like you
clearly were/are!). I would suggest making sure the band director has a
quiet word with her---or perhaps asking him to talk to the band about
"instrument etiquette" in general without mentioning names.

It's obviously really worrying when you have an instrument on which
you've spent a lot of money and you don't feel that it's safe. But when
there wasn't malicious intent on anybody's part, I think the more
productive way to solve the problem is usually to err on the softer side
rather than the harder.

-- Joe

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