Klarinet Archive - Posting 000406.txt from 2004/11

From: kimi <kimi_kimy@-----.com>
Subj: Re: [kl] Clarinets - Identification markings ect.,
Date: Wed, 10 Nov 2004 18:06:41 -0500

First of all I hope none of you take offense to
anything that I say below. Just me expressing how I
view and feel about things.

Gosh people: I have just read about ten of the emails
with replies in relationship to my initial post,
although I've read them backwards which usually
wouldn't be that way if i was actually reading them
from the site however, that is neither here nor there.
I'm so surprised to see such issues arising out of a
simple post of distress about what happened to my
daughter yesterday.

Please don't argue over semantics of this. My post
wasn't meant to create turmoil over this situation. I
wrote for advice.

Personally as a parent this is my take on the girl
that took the part of my daughters clarinet that she
took.

1. She did NOT ask!!! Key word there
2. I consider that stealing because she didn't go and
say hey: Kris can I borrow the top part of your
clarinet. Nor did she go and ask the band director
about asking Kris to borrow that piece. Nor did she
even bother to say to the director that her piece was
broken and that she needed to borrow a piece or borrow
a school owned clarinet in order to perform her part
in honors band.

3. Some may view this as no big deal just as the band
director did. He never chastised her in front of me
and my daughter when the girl came up and owned up to
having the piece and giving it back to us. Yes she
said she was sorry. Could I tell you if she was
sincere about that or not? NO! She split just as
soon as she gave it back. I didn't say anything at
that moment in time either because I was angry enough
to say things that might should not have been said. So
I kept silent. I did express profusely to the band
director my dismay of this. Both from the standpoint
that it was taken (sneaked away with) as well as what
i paid for that clarinet is alot of bucks and I can't
just toss that kind of money away everyday I feel like
it. I had to save up to buy her that clarinet for her
birthday and I resent that people don't think other
peoples property are just that, THEIRS!.

4. Yes I said the band director was nonchalant about
this whole issue. He was in my opinion. First thing
out of his mouth was, God will take care of this and
that he'd get to this issue as soon as he was done
with the auditions that was occurring at the time. So
instead he asked four students to help with looking
for this part. This came off to my daughter as a "he
doesn't really care" and I didn't plant that in her
head. She just has seen this same attitude over other
things as well. He's a good band director overall
despite particular things. This may just be the way
the director is though. I have only really seen him
angry once since my kids became a part of this band.
What bothered me was how unconcerned to start with he
was about it as well as the fact he never chastised
the student that took it without permission, without
others knowing she did. In my opinion that is being
sneaky and I would consider it theft had she kept it
and NOT owned up to having it. What if she had kept
it? Had there not been such a big ruckus about it when
she came into hearing range, she may not have said a
word about it and got away with it. But that is
assuming too and I know what assumptions can do. I
can't begin to know what the heck she was thinking.
How can any person trust others if others don't give
them a reason to be trust. blah blah blah blah and I
could go on and on and on about it and beat it to
death to no avail.

I guess my point is I didn't really want to pour out
all that I felt about it however in light of all the
comments being made which seemed like it was turning
into a debate, I decided to do just that.

As to her yamaha clarinet case, NO there is no lock on
it that requires a key or a combination. It's a
standard simple clarinet case that was sold with the
clarinet.

--- Tony Pay <tony.p@-----.org> wrote:

> On 10 Nov, "Patricia A. Smith" <arlyss1@-----.net>
> wrote:
>
> > 1) yes, the serial number can be marked on ALL
> parts of the clarinet.

********
I'm wondering what clarinet manufacturers doesn't mark
all pieces of an instrument with the serial number
anyway. Perhaps it's something that one can write to
a manufacturer and ask about or request they do just
to see if they get a reply back on that or not.
*************

> > Someone who is more of a tech-head on the list can
> tell you just how it is
> > done. I do know that it should ONLY be done by
> someone who is a skilled
> > repair tech, as if it is done improperly can do
> irreparable damage to the
> > instrument, in more areas than just the one where
> the serial number is
> > being inscribed. (And, there are more ways to do
> this, than there are ways
> > to screw in a lightbulb, believe me. I've always
> been of a mind that some
> > things should never be undertaken alone!)
>
> Perhaps, Kathy, your daughter would like to
> undertake to do it herself? She
> could practice first on something less valuable.
> (How about her trying to
> put appropriate initials, plus a heart with an arrow
> through it -- do you do
> that in US? -- on a smooth, flat stone?-)

******
We will see what we can do on that. :)
*********

>
>> > This all said, sounds like that other kid (can't
> call her a young lady;
> > she isn't, judging from THAT behavior) has no clue
> how to properly ask
> > to borrow something. People like that annoy me,
> regardless of what
> > their age is. The concept is called "BOUNDARIES".
> However, I won't
> > rant, I promise. All too often, there's way too
> many of them, and not
> > enough of kids who have some clue about whose is
> whose, and how to ask
> > to use things APPROPRIATELY.

********

I was always taught, if you wanted something just use
"ask." The most that could happen is hearing the word
"no." Nother lost nothing gained.
*********

>
> It may be -- after all, we don't know from what
> you've said -- that the other
> girl was desperate at short notice to have an
> instrument that worked, and is
> now genuinely embarrassed and sorry about what she
> did, even though she
> couldn't express that effectively at the time.
>
> Or, she may really have been unconcerned about the
> worry she caused. Only
> your daughter can really give you information about
> this, and it may be that
> she has to make a bit of an effort to discover the
> truth of the situation.

******
Neither of us saw much concern from the girl that took
it. I guess it didn't occur to her the amount of
distress she caused, think of it this way, not only
did my daughter find it gone, but also that meant
having to tell mom that it had been taken, knowing
full well that I would march myself right into the
band room and make sure somebody did something about
it right then and there. So lots of stress for both of
us. LOL

> > I personally would suggest to your daughter that
> she lock her horn up in
> > her own personal locker when she's not in band, or
> carry it around with
> > her to classes. If students are permitted to
> carry backpacks between
> > classes ( shockingly enough to some people, there
> are schools where they
> > are not - gee, is that Osama bin Laden in your
> bookbag, Jonny?) she
> > could simply stash the horn-in-case in the
> backpack & continue on her
> > merry way. If her current bp isn't large enough,
> I think a larger
> > backpack would be worth the investment in this
> situation.

***************
Only problem with backpacks is if they are already
heavily laden down with books, adding more to it just
makes a young back hurt. This is why I will have to
think of something else to better accomodate her.

*************

She has asked me about buying a different type of
carrying bag to put her instrument case as well as her
music in so that she can just pack it along like a
bookbag and I may end up doing that as well. One
thing for sure, She will make sure she puts it in a
locker until I can come up with a better plan for
this. It's a shame that one has to lock things up but
not every person is going to be honest as we all well
know.
***********
>
> You'd do well to avoid it being stolen, sure. But,
> how valuable is a plastic
> Yamaha, if you're trying to sell it? Is it really
> likely that, in the normal
> course of events, someone will go out of their way
> to steal it?
***************

All I can say on that comment is that there seems to
be an issue of instruments disappearing there. I
don't think that it's really the "directors" fault as
much as I think it's because particular "students"
don't seem to have respect for other peoples property
and figure it's ok to take what they want. By the
time this happens, the director has a full blown
problem on his hand, whether he handles it or not
though I can't really answer. Time will only tell.
*************

>
> > Let us know how she gets on with all of this.
> You, btw, are a very
> > supportive mom.
*************

Thank you for you comments on me being a supportive
mom. I try to support all that my kids do and be a
good mom in the process. I love them and I know they
love me more I'm sure. *grin*
**************

I wish ALL parents of students
> were like you, and
> > investigated the interests and talents of their
> children as extensively
> > as you have done. This sort of thing is a type of
> "advocacy for our
> > children" that is all too often overshadowed by
> negative stereotypes of
> > "stage mothers", which is too bad. Supportive
> parents can make every
> > difference in the world to plenty of children.
>
***********
I think that is what a parent is all about. Being
their for their kids, supporting them when they need
it, giving them a push from time to time to keep them
motivated and most of all to let them know that they
can be "more than they are" with alot of patience and
hard work and mom is there to make sure that happens.
:)
*************

> Yes, agreed. But, listen carefully to what your
> daughter says too.
>
> Tony

********
Thanks Tony for your comments.
Kathy

www.yahoo.com

---------------------------------------------------------------------
Klarinet is a service of Woodwind.Org, Inc. http://www.woodwind.org

   
     Copyright © Woodwind.Org, Inc. All Rights Reserved    Privacy Policy    Contact charette@woodwind.org