Klarinet Archive - Posting 000886.txt from 2004/10

From: "Karl Krelove" <karlkrelove@-----.net>
Subj: RE: [kl] Not sure if this is a joke or something serious -- Man sues Selmer for a lousy love life
Date: Fri, 29 Oct 2004 16:08:12 -0400

It's a joke, whether the story is legit or not - just a matter of how
expensive a joke it is. So the polka's coming back...?

Karl

> -----Original Message-----
> From: dnleeson [mailto:dnleeson@-----.net]
> Sent: Friday, October 29, 2004 9:10 AM
> To: klarinet@-----. org
> Subject: [kl] Not sure if this is a joke or something serious -- Man
> sues Selmer for a lousy love life
>
>
> Broken Newz - Saxophonist Remains Dateless, Sues Instrument
> Manufacturer
>
> Ames, Iowa - Mulford A. Barlow, an accountant for the
> Schneidemann Meat Packing Company and an amateur saxophonist, is
> suing the Selmer Musical Instrument Corporation for an
> undisclosed sum of money for what he is terming "gross violations
> of an implied contract."
>
> Mr. Barlow's attorney, noted civil rights lawyer Ron Kuby,
> alleges in papers filed today with the 2nd Circuit Court of
> Central Iowa that "in their glamorous print advertisements that
> feature beautiful women gazing longingly at men playing the
> saxophone, the Selmer Corporation creates the expectation that
> all one has to do to gain favor with said beautiful women is to
> purchase and learn how to play one of their extremely expensive
> saxophones. After spending more than $6000 on a Selmer Mark VI Eb
> Alto Saxophone and assorted accessories, as well as two years'
> worth of private lessons, my client, Mr. Barlow, is no closer to
> going on his first date than the day he passed his CPA exam."
>
> Saxophonists around the world have rallied to Mr. Barlow's cause.
> David Sanborn and Branford Marsalis have organized "Sax Appeal,"
> a 12-hour live telethon that will raise money to help defray Mr.
> Barlow's legal costs and will air on the Fox and ABC networks
> next Saturday starting at 8pm/7pm Central.
>
> Especially noteworthy is former President Bill Clinton's offer to
> testify on Barlow's behalf as an expert witness on the
> unrealistic sexual expectations placed upon saxophonists. "We're
> all victims of a sax-drenched society," said the former President
> during a meeting of the Renaissance Society at Hedonism II in
> Kingston, Jamaica. "TV, radio, movies, video games. It's nothing
> but sax, sax, sax."
>
> For his part, Mr. Barlow is said to have become disillusioned
> with the saxophone and is giving it up in order to concentrate on
> the accordion. "There are some hot babes who go every week to
> Polka Night at the local Moose
> Lodge," said Mr. Barlow from his bachelor pad in his mother's
> house. "Who knows, I just might get lucky."
>
> Dan Leeson
> DNLeeson@-----.net
>
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