Klarinet Archive - Posting 000477.txt from 2004/08

From: ormondtoby@-----.net (Ormondtoby Montoya)
Subj: RE: [kl] Re: K. 581 performance practice
Date: Mon, 16 Aug 2004 15:11:34 -0400

Dn Leeson wrote:

> This bit of wisdom is going to cost you a couple of
> pizzas.

I have both good news and bad news for Klarinet subscribers this
morning.

First, the bad news:

I am sad to report that Dan Leeson was discovered this morning
underneath a collapsed tower of cold, uneaten pizzas.

The authorities say that the leaning tower of pizzas had accumulated
over several years until it finally toppled because of low harmonics
from a basset clarinet on which Dan was improvising an fff chorus of
"Alexander's Rag Time Band" to be played as a cadenza for a Mozart
composition which Mr/. Leeson plans to perform in 2006.

Apparently Dan had never seen fit to eat any of the pizzas which were
given to him by his many grateful musician and Internet friends, except
that one slice was nibbled in a manner that suggested rat's teeth. The
words "Go, Dan! (signed Dick Vigorous)" were scrawled on a napkin that
lay nearby. Authorities had no explanation for this.

Now the good news:

Fortunately has Dan survived, thanks to an intrepid ambulance driver and
to a pool of grease that had accumulated to the floor and thereby
allowed the ambulance driver to slide Dan unharmed from underneath the
pile of soggy bread and moldy cheese before he suffocated.

When Dan regained consciousness, he spotted one empty box in the pile
with a hand-written label that said "Kammerzell Pizza Company, Mozart's
favorite". It was dated June 22, 1791. Dan was heard to mutter:

"Look at that! Pshaw! I'm an expert on these things. This label is
forged! Just look at the pen strokes and the ink color."

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