Klarinet Archive - Posting 000447.txt from 2004/08

From: Kenneth Wolman <kenneth.wolman@-----.net>
Subj: Re: [kl] Seeking Inderal users
Date: Sun, 15 Aug 2004 16:35:20 -0400

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At 03:15 PM 8/15/2004, you wrote:

>Dear Friends:
>
>I'm writing a newspaper story on beta blockers and would like to speak to
>muscians who have used it. Please email me at crimsons@-----.com if you
>are interested.
>
>BTW, I am a professional musician who's used Inderal, though now very
>infrequently, since the mid-80s.
>
>Yours,
>Blair Tindall

This must be public. I have written about this in the past, on this list,
and shall do so again as the occasion warrants.

Beta blockers can be drugs from hell. Yes, musicians use them as
calmatives. I took them for high blood pressure starting in November 1994,
terminating in May or June 1995. Why did I terminate? Okay, what you saw
from me last week was the result of intense stress. But it was NOTHING
compared to what I was like early in 1995. I did not know I was living
with bipolar disorder or that it was inhabiting me. That was diagnosed
only some years later. The beta blockers magnified it. I was completely
uncontrolled, nearly psychotic, and the change in me was gradual enough so
I missed it until I felt like I was absolutely losing my mind. I had
"suicidal ideations," among other things. It was terrifying and it took a
sort of moment of clarity for me to guess that it was the drugs. Last
garbage in, sudden behavioral alterations. I was referred to a
psychiatrist who basically said "Those things'll make you crazier than you
are already." Duh. This after I was being weaned off them by my GP who'd
prescribed them in the first place without doing a psychological profile or
"head-history." I hope someone pulled her license.

I believe the beta blockers may have altered my brain chemistry and forced
the illness to the next level, i.e., from cyclothymia to outright
manic-depression. I know: 'He probably thinks Martians implanted radio
transmitters in his dentures." Not quite. Even if the illness was not
ramped up by the medication, it does not live well inside the body and
brain of anyone with clinical (unipolar) depression or bipolar disorder. I
remember those six months as the most horrid of my life: even going through
a divorce a couple of years later wasn't as bad as that.

Where am I going with this? Very simple. If you are contemplating using
beta blockers for performance anxiety, I beg you to know your CURRENT
psychological profile beforehand: if you don't, get an evaluation before
you start using these meds. They can take you to places marked "Here there
be monsters," and you'll be the Monster King or Queen.

This message will be repeated every time someone brings up this topic.

Ken

------------------------------------------------------
39. Not observing the imperfections of others, preserving silence and a
continual communion with God will eradicate great imperfections from the
soul and make it the possessor of great virtues.
~St. John of the Cross, Maxims on
Love (The Minor Works)
Kenneth
Wolman http://www.kenwolman.com
http://kenwolman.blogspot.com

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