Klarinet Archive - Posting 000077.txt from 2004/06

From: "Lelia Loban" <lelialoban@-----.net>
Subj: [kl] mushrooms (was: glissando help)
Date: Sun, 6 Jun 2004 07:33:25 -0400


David Niethamer wrote, re. the Portobello mushroom,
> Actually, my understanding is that it's a plain white
>button mushroom grown too big to be commercially
>viable as such. SO, in a masterpiece of marketing,
>they've given it a fancy European sounding name, and
>of course they charge a lot more money for it!

Sounds reasonable, but IMHO, there's a significant difference in quality.
Portobellos and Creminis (which I think are the smaller mushrooms in the
same species as Portobellos) have flavor and a meaty texture, while white
buttons taste like a mouthful of nothing. All they do is prop up the
gravy. Though the sale price of Creminis and Portobellos is about US $1
per pound more than buttons, they're a better economy, because they last
more than twice as long in storage (so that it's possible to wait and buy
them only when they're on sale) and because they shrink far less when
cooked.

Although I've never grown mushrooms *deliberately*, the garden catalogues'
growing instructions for white buttons say to cultivate them in well-aged,
"cold" horse manure in a damp cellar, in the dark, but the instructions for
Creminis and Portobellos say to grow them in damp shade outdoors, in a
mixture of well-rotted compost, sawdust and manure, or on rotted oak logs.
Maybe that's the real difference. The Creminis and Portobellos live a
healthier outdoor lifestyle. I mean, what would we be like if we lived in
horse poop in a damp, dark cellar, Precioussss? Gollum, gollum....

This is nothing but a guess, but I've wondered if the Portobellos were
named for the outdoor market in the Portobello Road in London. I haven't
been there in several years, but last time, some of the grocers at the
weekend market sold all kinds of beautiful mushrooms that I rarely see for
sale fresh in the USA. But then, I was also enjoying the Peruvian
nose-flute band, until I heard a voice, speaking in an upper-crust,
educated accent from behind me, mutter to his companion with an
exaggeratedly world-weary sigh, "Ay de mí, más Peruanos chingados." More
[bleeped-up] Peruvians.... (Later, while waiting at the end of the road
for Kevin, I counted how many different languages passed me on the way into
the outdoor market in about ten minutes: 19.) Within a few months, the
busking nose-flute bands appeared outside the subway stations in
Washington, D.C.. They didn't sound all that wonderful after dozens of
hearings, so maybe back there in the London street market (as the glamor of
distant lands beguiled me), someone else who knew more than I did, over
near the greengrocer's stands, was sniffing haughtily at the heaps of
mushrooms and sighing, "Ay de mí, más Portobellos chingados."

Lelia Loban
lelialoban@-----.net
Original music compositions (listen or print free of charge):
http://members.sibeliusmusic.com/LeliaLoban

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