Klarinet Archive - Posting 000130.txt from 2004/05

From: "Lelia Loban" <lelialoban@-----.net>
Subj: [kl] Confidential (to Shadow Cat)
Date: Thu, 6 May 2004 20:45:44 -0400

Patricia Smith wrote,
>Don't forget Rebecca's imaginary...er...rodent of some sort.

Yes, I thought Rebecca's artwork was terrific, and it certainly convinced
me that floor hamsters must exist, because that portrait certainly must
have been painted from life.

>Now, I actually DO have REAL pet rabbits and meeces.
>But I only allow them to comment occasionally. btw, I
>believe Lelia's cat IS real.

Shadow Cat is indeed as real as any cat, although I do have some suspicions
about the reality of cats in general. Shadow would no doubt enjoy meeting
your meeces, although the meeces would not enjoy meeting her. The rabbits
might have some fun. Do rabbits have a sense of humor? I've noticed that,
when confronted with any critter of substantial size, Shadow Cat manages
not to notice it's there. If she noticed it, she would feel obliged to
chase it. She doesn't chase unless she's reasonably sure of the outcome,
and she's not so sure about rabbits. They do have those *teeth*.
(Remember Jimmy Carter and the Killer River Rabbit? Shadow Cat isn't old
enough to remember that incident, but I think she's seen the film clips.)
Yes, the rabbits could have some fun. Jim Lande posted Shadow's photo
through the klarinet bulletin board this week:

http://test.woodwind.org/clarinet/BBoard/read.html?f=1&i=145653&t=145653

She's giving Jim the hairy eyeball in the photo because of conflicted
feelings, I think: She could tell he likes cats, and she wanted to like him
back. However, despite giving the impression of being a nice man, he not
only brought a number of her least favorite instruments of torture over to
the house with him, he sold me one (and it's *still here*) -- and she knows
a camera when she sees one, too. She knew we were lying when we assured
her that this camera didn't have a flashbulb. She thinks the flashbulb is
like the flashy thingy in "Men in Black." It's all a plot, an alien
screech stick plot to take over the world, etc.. She did manage to
photograph black, as she nearly always does (how does she do that?), just
to confuse the screech-stick devils when they come looking for her. She's
really gray. Oops, I'm not supposed to tell you her real color. Heh-heh.

She did bury one of my mouthpieces in her litter box once. (Either that or
something else she buried turned into a clarinet mouthpiece....) I've been
more careful about leaving mouthpieces lying around since then. She's
never buried an entire clarinet, eefer or otherwise, although I wouldn't
put it past her to try. In the photo, if you look carefully at the lower,
outer edge of the ear nearest the camera, you can spot the little extra
flap and channel. I think it's nothing but a minor deformity, although she
claims it's some sort of extra-sensory reception device.

Right now, she's all fehtootzed because of the noisy nest of raccoons in
the chimney. "What, more vermin?! The least you could do is attract
*small* vermin!" We're letting Mom Coon raise babies in there because she
went to all kinds of trouble to pry up a heavy grate (installed to keep her
out) from the chimney cap and because there's no reliable way to remove a
nest of coons from a chimney without hurting or killing them. After Mom
Coon moves the cubs out, we'll put a heavier grate up there. (She's pretty
resourceful, though. When we chained up the outdoor garbage can so she
couldn't knock it over and pry off the lid, she chewed in through the
bottom.) When Kevin's quartet played in the living room on Tuesday, Shadow
Cat couldn't decide which was worse: the quartet or the way it agitated the
coonlets, who usually keep fairly quiet during the day. Beethoven with
raccoon obligato. Well, maybe you had to be there....

Lelia Loban
E-mail: lelialoban@-----.net
Web site (original music scores as audio or print-out):
http://members.sibeliusmusic.com/LeliaLoban

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