Klarinet Archive - Posting 000470.txt from 2004/04
From: "Lelia Loban" <lelialoban@-----.net>
Subj: [kl] Confidential (to Shadow Cat)
Date: Thu, 29 Apr 2004 16:54:45 -0400
Re. Shadow Cat, Juan Gregorio wrote,
> Who is this and what is going on is the question? Inquisitive.
Shadow Cat is my pet cat. Despite her ambitions above her station, I'm
not really her pet human. She hates the sound of a clarinet. Apparently
what sounds like music to me sounds like a stream of obscenities in the
feline language. She also believes some strange superstitions. She thinks
clarinets are vacuum cleaner larvae, and she thinks they're plotting to let
the garbage removal truck come into the house. The truck is old and the
lift mechanism is somewhat rusted, and it does make a lot of clanking,
bellowing and screeching noises, leading her to believe it's some sort of
demon. The truth is, she's terrified of the vacuum cleaner and the garbage
truck, so she tries to cover up her fear with bravado. Shadow Cat
interrupts my messages and posts anti-clarinet screeds here when she gets
the chance, but lately I've been trying to block her from butting in on my
Internet time, because I realize that being insulted by a pet cat annoys
some list members.
I don't let anybody who's less than a foot tall boss me around nearly as
much as Shadow Cat claims, by the way. Why, she hasn't got hold of one of
my mousepieces, oops, I mean mouthpieces, in months and months. She hasn't
chewed up any reeds in a long time, either, since it's been nearly a year
since I carelessly left the lid
---------
Oh, be quiet, stupid human. I'm nobody's *pet,* and don't forget it. And
just for that, I want more breakfast. Right now.
Sadie wrote,
>>May I call you "Shady"? I feel like I know you
>>very well, even though we've never met. Being
>>feline, you are a much more trenchant and subtle
>>observer of the social scene than I, but you and I
>>yet have a great deal in common, despite the fact
>>that my hard-wiring would probably compel me to
>>put my nose in places that offend you and chase you
>>up a tree. Nothing personal. It's just something that
>>us greyhound-types HAVE to do.
I do sympathize with the infestation of screech-sticks in your home,
something I wouldn't even wish on a dog. (By the way, why would I care
what a dog calls me?) I'd love it if you chased me up a tree. Can't climb
trees yourself, can you? It's so much fun sitting on a branch and hissing
taunts, while a dog hops up and down and goes crazy with rage because she
can't get me. Nothing personal, of course. Just something that we felines
HAVE to do....
Human! Where the hell is my extra breakfast? Good servants are so hard to
find.
Sssst!
Shadow Cat
---------------
Lelia Loban
E-mail: lelialoban@-----.net
Web site (original music scores as audio or print-out):
http://members.sibeliusmusic.com/LeliaLoban
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