Klarinet Archive - Posting 000429.txt from 2004/04

From: OhSuzan419@-----.com
Subj: [kl] Confidential (to Shadow Cat)
Date: Tue, 27 Apr 2004 11:47:38 -0400

Shadow Cat!!

It's so nice to hear from you again! My name is Sadie. May I call you "Shady"? I feel like I know you very well, even though we've never met. Being feline, you are a much more trenchant and subtle observer of the social scene than I, but you and I yet have a great deal in common, despite the fact that my hard-wiring would probably compel me to put my nose in places that offend you and chase you up a tree. Nothing personal. It's just something that us greyhound-types HAVE to do.

You see, I am basically a quiet dog, and I don't understand how in the world I got placed in this family that assaults my funny-looking but sensitive ears daily with things that are worse, much worse, than the dreaded v*c**m cl**n*r. (Fortunately, they don't use that very much, but makes me cower just to think of it. And I definitely stay clear of the dark crate where it lives.)

It was bad enough when only Mom had the shriek-stick. And then I thought things were getting better, because she started spending a lot of time with this other sort-of mini-shriek-stick that I actually find quite soothing. You know, it's the kind that uses *two* of those yummy, crunchy fiber-treats on the top. (You might not like it, though, because it doesn't have a mousepiece to play with.)

But then Dad really went off the deep end. Not only does he have a genuine shriek-stick like Mom's, but he got all macho on me and found this *really* big one with a voice that just rattles my bones. I don't know where he got it, because I guard this place pretty well, and you can be darn sure I wouldn't have let something like that past the door! I probably shouldn't have trusted him in the first place, truth be told, because before the giant shriek-stick came, he would actually encourage Mom to play the dreaded v*cc**m cl**n*r more often. So even though I didn't see it happen, I have to warn you, Beware!, because I think it might have spawned that giant one. (Probably a birth defect, like acromegaly. What a shame.)

I keep telling them how much I hate this, but they don't listen. Probably can't hear me because of the racket those things make. Oh, Shady! I blush to tell you this, but sometimes both my humans go into the same room and do unspeakable things at the same time with all of those black shrieky things and -- well, it's almost more than a soul can bear. Such misery! (I know you understand what I mean!)

I just wanted you to know you are not alone.

CSSF (Cross-Species Solidarity Forever!),

Miss Sadie

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