Klarinet Archive - Posting 000284.txt from 2004/04

From: "Lelia Loban" <lelialoban@-----.net>
Subj: [kl] Competitions and Juries
Date: Sun, 18 Apr 2004 22:28:53 -0400


Tony Pay wrote,
>Just to say something about this topic from
>the point of view of the jury member, which
>I have quite often been:
>
>It's very, very difficult for an unsuccessful competitor
>to hear usefully anything you say to them afterwards
>about their performance. I'd say that's because in that
>particular situation, they hold your criticism not as
>*something they might improve in their playing* -- as
>they would in a lesson -- but as *the reason why they
>weren't successful*.
>
>And then it's so tempting for them to say: the only
>reason that that jury member could come up with for
>why they didn't like me was X (where X is something
>fairly trivial).

All of that rings true (and reminds me of similar scenes at forensics
meets), but, based on my own experiences with performance anxiety, I think
there's another reason why many music competitors fail to hear what judges
say, and it isn't defensiveness, but the opposite: shock, shame and urgent
desire to get out of there, away from all those *staring eyes*, coupled
with an equally urgent desire to conceal this reaction for fear of looking
like even more of a loser. In such cases, the student may look stoical,
bored or even arrogant, but can't hear anything except his or her own
self-assessment that drowns out any competing soundtrack from the judges.
In the student's mind, they might as well be saying, "You just made a total
fool of yourself in public, and nothing we say here will help you improve,
because you're a no-talent jerk and you're wasting your time and ours."

Such a student can't *respond* to criticism. The student simply wants to
stutter out anything that sounds half-plausible -- anything that will
satisfy the judges enough to *end* the discussion. All this student really
wants is permission to disappear, preferably straight through the floor. I
think it may be difficult for a successful musician (who experiences
heightened tension or alertness, but not destructive panic) to comprehend
that someone with serious stage fright is in no condition to learn
*anything* -- not there and not then, anyway.

In my mercifully limited experiences with performing for criticism, I don't
think I ever heard one word the forum moderator or judges said to me
afterwards. In fact, I'm not so sure I heard much of what I played,
either. No amount of preparation or experience helped. On the contrary,
the problem got worse every time I played in public. I could have meant to
play Mozart and bleated, "Mary Had A Little Lamb," out of sheer terror, and
I don't think I would have known the difference. To me, no matter how much
I had practiced and prepared, when it came time to perform, everything
sounded like a hideous torrent of wrong notes blasted out triple-forte
because I couldn't calm down enough to calibrate the tempo or the dynamics.
Once I achieved silence at last, anything the judges yammered served only
to delay my escape. All I could think was, "Poker face, poker face --
don't show them anything," and all I wanted to do was bolt to the restroom
in time to cry and vomit there instead of in front of the audience.

Some people get over the stage fright problem eventually and some can't,
but in the stress of the immediate aftermath, a kid who's just given a poor
performance may be physically incapable of learning one blessed thing from
the wisest advice in the world -- at least, not there and not then. If
circumstances allow, it might be worthwhile to write down or tape record
some comments and give them to the kid's teacher, for later -- but, for the
moment, if you see that telltale thousand- yard stare, just say, "Thank
you," and, "Next, please," and let the poor schlub run for it.

Lelia Loban
E-mail: lelialoban@-----.net
Web site (original music scores as audio or print-out):
http://members.sibeliusmusic.com/LeliaLoban

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