Klarinet Archive - Posting 000148.txt from 2004/04

From: Bill Hausmann <bhausmann1@-----.net>
Subj: [kl] Fwd: MUSICIANS' QUOTES
Date: Wed, 7 Apr 2004 19:09:56 -0400

Some of these were so good I just had to share:

>>"He'd be better off shoveling snow."
>>Richard Strauss on Arnold Schoenberg
>>
>>When told that a soloist would need six fingers to perform his concerto,
>>Arnold Schoenberg replied, "I can wait."
>>
>>"I would like to hear Elliot Carter's Fourth String Quartet, if only to
>>discover what a cranky prostate does to one's polyphony."
>>
>>"Exit in case of Brahms."
>>Philip Hale's proposed inscription over the doors of Boston's Symphony Hall
>>
>>"Why is it that whenever I hear a piece of music I don't like, it's
>>always by Villa Lobos?"
>>Igor Stravinsky
>>
>>"His music used to be original. Now it's aboriginal."
>>Sir Ernest Newman on Igor Stravinsky
>>
>>"If he'd been making shell cases during the war, it might have been
>>better for music."
>>Maurice Ravel on Camille Saint-Saens
>>
>>"He has an enormously wide repertory. He can conduct anything, provided
>>it's by Beethoven, Brahms, or Wagner. He tried Debussy's La Mer once. It
>>came out as Das Merde."
>>Anonymous Orchestra Member on George Szell
>>
>>Someone commented to Rudolph Bing, manager of the Metropolitan Opera,
>>that Geroge Szell is his own worst enemy. "Not while I'm alive, he isn't!
>>said Bing.
>>
>>"After I die, I shall return to earth as a gatekeeper of a bordello and I
>>won't let any of you in."
>>Arturo Toscanini to the NBC Orchestra
>>
>>"We cannot expect you to be with us all the time, but perhaps you could
>>be good enough to keep in touch now and again."
>>Sir Thomas Beecham to a musician during a rehearsal
>>
>>"Jack Benny played Mendelssohn last night. Mendelssohn lost."
>>Anonymous
>>
>>The great German conductor Hans von Buelow detested two members of an
>>orchestra, who were named Schultz and Schmidt. Upon being told that
>>Schmidt had died, von Buelow immediately asked, "Und Schultz?"
>>
>>"Her voice sounded like an eagle being goosed."
>>Ralph Novak on Yoko Ono
>>
>>"Parsifal is the kind of opera that starts at six o'clock and after it
>>has been going three hours, you look at your watch and it says 6:20."
>>David Randolph
>>
>>"One can't judge Wagner's opera Lohengrin after a first hearing, and I
>>certainly don't intend hearing it a second time."
>>Gioacchino Rossini
>>
>>"I liked the opera very much. Everything but the music."
>>Benjamin Britten on Stravinsky's The Rake's Progress
>>
>>"Her singing reminds me of a cart coming downhill with the brake on."
>>Sir Thomas Beecham on an unidentified soprano in Die Walkyre
>>
>>"Flint must be an extremely wealthy town. I see that each of you bought
>>two or three seats."
>>Victor Borge, playing a half-filled house in Flint, Michigan
>>
>>"Critics can't even make music by rubbing their back legs together."
>>Mel Brooks
>>
>>"I love Beethoven, especially the poems."
>>Ringo Starr
>>
>>"I really don't know whether any place contains more pianists than Paris,
>>or whether you can find more asses and virtuosos anywhere."
>>Frederic Chopin
>>
>>"Nice guys finish first. Maybe you don't know where the finish line is"
>>Paul Kinney
>>
>>"When she started to play, Steinway himself came down personally and
>>rubbed his name off the piano."
>>Bob Hope on comedienne Phyllis Diller
>
>
>Bill Hausmann
>
>If you have to mic a saxophone, the rest of the band is TOO LOUD!

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